Swallowing My Pride November 29, 2006

Okay, here goes.  I was wrong.  I was wrong.  I was wrong. I was wrong.  You know, no matter how I say it, it doesn’t sound right.  Maybe it’s the words and not the emphasis. 
    Now you are all wondering what I was wrong about (Angie has an idea).  A friend of mine sent me a newsletter that her chiropractor sends out.  It was about the dangers of the flu shot and how they don’t really work and getting sick will keep you from getting cancer and how the flu doesn’t really kill that many people, it’s just the fear mongering pharmaceutical companies lying to sell more drug.  I was like, “Yeah! Take that!”  I mean, they had the world’s leading immunogeneticist saying how bad they were and stuff.
    This friend of mine has sent me, shall we say, somewhat unreliable, information in the past and I really wanted to research this stuff for real.  So I asked my husband, always ready to play the sceptic, how to do this.  He shows me how to look up a name in Google and so we do.  Yeah, Hugh Fudenberg, MD was in Google all right.  His license was rovoke because he was a crackpot who refused to believe legitimate research and therefore advised his patients badly.  That was not looking good for this anti-immunization paper so we looked up the statistics that they quoted.  From the CDC.  And they were all made up, too. Everything.
    The flu does kill a lot of people.  Mostly in the danger zone so I am probably not going to rush out and get a flu shot.  Neither is my daughter.  She is not in a high danger enviroment.  But the flu shot isn’t killing people and the flu is.
    So, you are all saying, “Becky, you’ve never taken a die hard ‘anti-flu shot’ stand.  Why did this deserve an ‘I’m wrong’ statement?”  Well, because we also read up on the other immunizations that the CDC had information on.  And yeah, immunizations aren’t the devil.  AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
    I really like hating immunizations.  I really like blaming them for all the crap that’s going on.  I liked blaming ADHD on immunizations.  I liked the feeling that I was just a little bit better than everyone else because “I knew the truth!”. 

    So, we will probably get our daughter immunized sometime in the nearish future (we still don’t believe in doctor’s so who knows when we’ll be in a situation where it’s convienent).  But we are glad that we waited and we will probably wait on the next one.  My brain being as it is, I can’t remember what made us decide that waiting was still a good idea.  I don’t know.  Maybe we didn’t and I just blocked that part out.  But anyway.
    I am sorry to everyone that I “preached” at.  I am sorry that I felt “better” than you.  Forgive me?

Hubby Got His Job!!! November 27, 2006

We don’t know what it means but he has a job.  He’s going to do fuels…yeah, and now you know as much as we do.  We know that it deals with petroleum based fuels (gas, diesel, etc) and cryogenics.  And now you really do know as much as we do.
He leaves for Texas (I can’t remember where.  It starts with an “S”) January 8th and graduates February 21st.  Because it is so short, my daughter and I probably won’t be coming home for that time.  And we don’t know where we’ll be going after that.  My husband turned in his “Dream Sheet” (where we would like to be stationed) tonight but I don’t know how long it takes until you know.  Hopefully we know before he graduates.  We chose all overseas bases except one in Alaska.  What’s the benifit to having someone pay for you to move and live somewhere if you don’t take full advantage of it?
To be honest, I am really excited and really scared.  I mean, there’s always a possibility that we’ll get stationed in Utah or Missouri (and to be honest, I don’t know anyone who’s gotten based on one of their “Dream Sheet” bases).  It’s just scary to realize, “Here we go.”  In less time then my husband has been in casuals, he will be doing his job.  The thought of moving overseas is exciting and scary.  Exciting because, hey, we’ll be living overseas and experiencing new cultures and living in places that people pay to go.  Scared because living in California has made me realize that I do in fact miss my family when I don’t have the option of driving home over a weekend.  It’s scary to realize that I will be very, very far from them.  But exciting to know that my daughter will know that there are other cultures besides “American” out there.  She may even have the chance to learn another language.  Of course, then she could talk back and I would have no idea what she was saying but it’s exciting.  Scary because I don’t speak a second language.
You can all be praying for us as these desisions aren’t made by us and we don’t really know what’s going to happen.  But he does have a job, our life has a direction again, and life is good here in California.

It occured to us the other day that we are leaving California in December and going to Iowa and then to northern Minnesota.  In the dead of winter.  What are we thinking?  Have we lost our minds?  Will our bodies be able to adjust?  Will the people that we visit turn their heat way up for us?  We stayed with friends a couple of winters ago and they didn’t want to turn the heat on.  Being from Missouri where it was 20 or 30 degrees warmer, we hadn’t packed adequately.  I think we had one sweatshirt between the two of us.  We traded back and forth during the day and then hurried to bed so that we could be under the covers and cuddled up.   But we will be prepared.  I even found the winter coats.  We will be prepared.

A Very Scary Book But Then Not So Much November 27, 2006

So I got this book from the library called The Hot Zone or The Hot Spot.  The book covered the movement of three viral infections from about 1975 – present, Marburg (similar to Ebola with a 20% kill rate), Ebola Sudan (with a 50% kill rate), and Ebola Zaire (with a 90% kill rate).
Basically, the movie Outbreak was based on real events.  Now, there wasn’t an Ebola outbreak on US soil, but there almost was. 
The book starts by covering a number of incredibly gruesome deaths.  The author showed how the virus was transmitted, through body fluid, much like the AIDS virus.  He showed the speed with which the virus worked and the inability of science to find either a source or a treatment.  The medical and scientific worlds were unable to find anything that helped.  Nothing stopped it and nothing slowed it down.  With all three virsus, some people would get sicker and sicker and nothing would bring down their fevers and they would exhibit all the same symptoms but then they would get better.  But with a 50% or greater kill rate, more often than not, they just died.
So, there was a monkey house, a quarintine house for imported monkeys, located just outside of Washington D.C., that began having a more than normal number of deaths.  They began looking into it and realized that it might be something that the authorities should look into.  So the vet in charge sends some samples to the Army medical research facility.  They begin looking at it, but because they don’t know how bad it is they don’t use Level 4 containment.  They just treat it like a monkey disease.  A young microscope technician looks at it under his electron microscope and finds, whoops, this looks a lot like Marburg or Ebola.  So they do some tests (now in Level 4) and find that it appears to be Ebola Zaire.  What to so?  They let the chain of command know and they decide that they need to move.  So they make this monkey house a Level 4 containment facility and they start killing monkeys (because the virus has proven to move through the air and all the monkeys risk being infected and infectious).  There are over 450 monkeys and they don’t want to be stuck with a needle and these guys are in space suits and it’s imperitive that they not get bitten.  Oh, and the H/VAC system is broken so even though it’s January outside, with 450 monkeys in the building, it’s like the jungle inside.  And did I mention that they were in space suits?  No AC in a space suit.  There are a couple of close calls, one monkey gets loose and they have to chace him around for a couple of days.
So they start studying this and there are a couple of questions that they can’t figure out.  There were a couple of exposures which, considering the contagiousness of this virus, should have killed a number of people.  But they didn’t even get the sniffles.  So the team continues to search and research and study and examine and culture and dissect.  And they aren’t coming up with any answers until they finally realize that it is Ebola Zaire, but mutated in such a way that it doesn’t kill humans.  It’s Ebola Reston (the name of the Monkey House).  It kills monkeys at what appears to be a rate of 100%, travels through the air, and cannot be transmitted to humans.  Well, that’s not true.  Humans can get it but it doesn’t kill them.  It doesn’t even raise their tempterature. 
How long until it mutates again?  How long until it breaks into the human world?  The American world?  It is only a matter of time…..

Or not.  That last part was part of the author’s motive for writing the book.  This is nature’s way of fighting back against the predator/virus of humans that are killing off her rainforests and jungles and such.  I think that we should be more conserving and less “devil-may-care” about cutting into the rainforests and jungles, but I am not ready to say that these killer viruses are Nature’s revenge.
It was an interesting book and a good read.  Unlike this other book I got about the beef industry. I knew that it was going to be mostly liberal pap but I wasn’t prepared for the incredibly detailed description of a twin still birth in which a calf is … ya know what, you don’t want to hear about it any more than I did.  Lets just say that the birth did not go well and the author described it very accurately.  I actually didn’t even finish the first chapter.  I didn’t even finish the birth.  Israel finished that part and then said, “You don’t want to read this.” and I agreed that I didn’t.  Turns out that when Israel gets books like that he just doesn’t read me the icky parts.  So this guy didn’t even get a chance to tell me anything and have me take the good and leave the bad becauce he had to wield a battle ax instead of a scapell.  His loss.

That’s what I’ve been reading folks. 

The Truth Only Hurts When It Should November 26, 2006

Well, I had a horrible revelation today about myself.  My husband and I were walking through Target and we began to “discuss” money and our budget.  As I am in charge of everything in our budget except earning the money, any problems become my problems.  So I began to get upset and it became obvious that we were not communicating very well on this subject (which is pretty typical of our money/budget conversations).  We progressed to Border’s where this discussion quickly began to be an argument.  And suddenly my husband says to me, “Becky, are you upset that we aren’t independently wealthy?  I feel like you expect that now that we are ‘comfortable’ we should be able to buy whatever we want, whenever we want.  Is that possible?”
And I realized instantly, that’s exactly what the problem was.  Because we are no longer worried about paying our car insurance, I think that we should be able to just go buy a Playstation 2 at the drop of a hat without saving.  HAH!  But it was totally how I was thinking.  
I have rearranged and reorganized and pushed things around and made lists and folders and accounts and what do you know?  When it’s all said and done, we aren’t independently wealthy.  We can not go and buy whatever we want, whenever we want.  We can’t go out to eat at the drop of a hat without consequences (ie. Spending less at Target or not buying a game this week).  I can’t remodel the house today.  
I am just so disturbed that I really was feeling that way.  I don’t really know what to do.  I feel like a rug was yanked out from under my feet.  I like to think of myself as a well grounded and sensible person.  But then this happens and I realize that my grip on reality is not always so good.  ‘sigh’  I know that I will figure it out but ‘geez’ this is not going to be a fun learning and growing experience.
So anyway.  We bought M&M’s.  They were really good.

Hubby’s job November 25, 2006

We should find out on Monday what my husbands next job will be.  We are excited and I am a little nervous.  This will probably result in my daughter and I moving and being apart from “Dad” for a number of months.  It is exciting but it will be hard to leave.  We’ve made friends and we’re starting to get used to it here.  And I am not looking forward to packing.  UUUGGG!  I hate packing.  Oh, well.  Maybe I’ll pack the way the movers packed.  Don’t organize.  Just label it with the room you filled it in and throw everything in.  What could be easier?  Certainly not unpacking!!

In hindsight… November 25, 2006

Well, in hindsight, my Thanksgiving story isn’t very funny.  Basically, the turkey wasn’t thawed out on Wednesday.  Instead of going with the original plan and doing Thanksgiving on Saturday (which I nixed because I thought the turkey might go bad. HA!), I went out to buy a  fresh turkey.  But of course, I had put the pumpkin pie in the oven before I realized the turkey was frozen, so I had to wait until it was done before I could leave.  It’s getting on towards noon and my plans of eating at 2 or so are quickly fading.  So I go to the commisary and they are out of “fresh” turkeys.  So I go to Albertsons and their “fresh” turkeys…well, about 50% of them are still frozen.  I guess to them “fresh” means, “We thawed it out for you”  which was exactly what I needed.  But all they had were 20 pound turkeys.  My husband was not excited about a 13 pound turkey.  What to do.  Again, it doesn’t occur to me to do this all on Saturday.  So I buy a big, honking turkey and everything turns out fine. 

It was a very good turkey and then yesterday, when I cooked the other one (still with ice inside), it was very good, too.  So I think that we will have much turkey over the next couple of months.

Yeah, that’s about it.  It was a good dinner and we didn’t gorge ourselves (Yeah!).

Our Thanksgiving November 22, 2006

Well, havent’t blogged in a couple of days.  I have been very busy.  We did Thanksgiving today (being Wednesday).  We decided this Tuesday afternoon.  So I was up late last night getting stuff ready and then at 2430 (1230 am to you non military personnel), we remember that we had to do a ton of paperwork regarding my husbands Exodus/Christmas break stuff.  So we filled everything out, mapquested 6 maps, printed out flight scedules, erased everything and rewrote it in pen.  And then, of course, I had to stay up reading a fascinating book about a viral outbreak (more about that later).

So I didn’t start this morning with the best of…something…I really can’t think of a word to describe the apparently elusive thing that i didn’t wake up with. 

i am really tired and will describe in detail the fun of finding my turkey still frozen, tomorrow, after a good nights sleep (I am finished with my book so shouldn’t be too hard).

Life update November 20, 2006

Well, I am not really sure that I have anything to write about.  My husband had his 26th birthday yesterday.  So much has happened since his 25th.  Last year’s birthday was sort of a turning point for us.  It was at his birthday party that we realized that most of our friends were people who had left our church.  They were all still walking with the Lord but had had irrepairable differences with the Rock.  The day after the party we went to a wedding of a couple from the Rock.  My husband commented that there seemed to be a high turnover rate at the Rock.  A friend of ours replied “Well, the Rock demands a lot and some people just can’t handle it.”  I think his jaw dropped.  That caused us to look at what was going on with more open eyes and we realized that all these little warning flags had combined into one really big warning flag. 
Then came the lay-off from the “really secure” job.  Then we moved into the inner city where we were going to do the “community” thing.  You know, work in the community, church in the community, shop in the community, etc.  Yeah, didn’t work out so well.  30-some resumes and not even one nibble.  Very discouraging.  So my husband began thinking more seriously about joining the armed forces.  Kind of scary for his wife but it was the right thing.
And now, only a year later, we are across the country, financially stable, looking to have a “career”, we have a kitten.  We’ve lost our church and some very good friends but we’ve gained life experience that is priceless.  I have seen and lived by the ocean.  I saw the west side of the Rockies.  I camped by a river in Central California.  I made a huge car decision basically on my own. (And fortunately, it was the right one!) 
So, as I look back over this last year, I am so proud of my husband and what he’s done with this last year of his life.  I look forward to being a part of the following years. 
Life is good and God is good.

Oh, and my daughter  says funny things.  A couple of weeks ago, she finds the thermometer.  She hold it up and says, “Don’t put this in my butt!”  I looked at her in shock.  I was positive that we quit doing that long before she would remember, but remember she does.  So watch out parents out there.  They are much more aware than we like to think.

Bread Making 101 November 18, 2006

I love making bread.  It’s a pain in the keester.  It gets almost every dish in my kitchen dirty.  It takes a significantly larger chunk of time then you would think.  But it has so many good things, too.

The taste is great (when I find a good recipe).  Fresh baked bread is the most wonderful smell that exists in this world.  It is way, way, way cheaper than buying bread.  We usually go through 2 – 3 loaves a week.  Because we don’t want to die at the age of 30 (wow, that’s getting close, too) we buy as good of bread as we can.  At $2.61 a pop, that’s $5.22 to $7.83 a week.  That’s over 10% of our grocery budget.  Yikes.  And the biggest reason of all that I make bread is that it makes me feel good about myself.  I feel like a real wife and mother.  I feel like I am going the right thing. I am working with my hands to create something wonderful and provide for my family.  I get to the end of the day and I say “Hey, I made bread today.  I may not have vacuumed.  I may not have cleaned the bathrooms.  I may not have folded the laundry.  But I made bread.  I cleaned the kitchen (has to happen after bread making or someone will die).  I accomplished something.”

So, anyway.  That’s why I make bread.  If you were here in the next 2 hours, you too, could experience the wonderful aroma of fresh baked bread and the wonderful taste of hot bread and butter. But you aren’t so you will just have to be happy for us.  Or charter a plane and we’ll pick you up at the airport.  With bread.  Yeah. 

A bit of support to those in our Armed Forces November 17, 2006

“War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things.  The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse.  The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself.” — John Stewart Mill