We just finished watching Disney’s movie Enchanted…

What a fun movie. Both Israel and I wanted to see it…we’d actually watched the preview over and over again on YouTube, laughing uproariously every time Prince Edward was clobbered by the bicyclists as he began to sing to Giselle.

All humor aside, it was a very clever movie. Giselle is the perfect Disney princess with just the right amount of over-the-top thrown in for satirical effect. The film was done so well that when all of Central Park joins with Giselle in a song and dance number, your sense of disbelief is almost completely suspended.

The love stories (and there are three) all work out the way they should. Everyone ends happy, with the exception of the evil stepmother who dies horribly falling from a building halfway between the transformation from dragon back to woman. But she richly deserved it.

Anyway, it was really great. It’s a little scary for the little ones. Jael was very upset by the evil step mother. She turns into a dragon in Sleeping Beauty style but Jael was freaked long before that happened. I think the woman’s general evilness was scary. She’s just a bad person and I think Jael picked up on that. So beware with young kids.

We had a friend over for dinner tonight. We’d not seen her in a couple of months and had really missed her. I don’t know why we do that, forgetting how much we like someone until we hangout with them again. She’s such a riot. Unfortunately, her boyfriend broke up with her recently. I mean, I guess it was fortunate in that it revealed his ass-hole-ness but unfortunate in the fact that it broke her heart.

But she was fairly positive about the whole thing. Hurt but going to live. She had to move back in with her folks which is hard but she’s working on getting out of that situation.

We just had a lot of fun. We ate supper, played some Scattegories (which is a great game for word geeks like us), ate some s’mores (left over from the camping trip). Great fun.

Before she came over, we went to the Pass Christian park and had a picnic lunch. Jael played with a little boy, bossing him around and being ignored. They had fun.

We cleaned the house before our guest arrived. Which was good. Our vacuum cleaner sucks. I mean, it blows. I mean it’s not a very good vacuum and does not do its job well. And our carpet is worse. We have a living room, a hallway, and two bedrooms. After vacuuming the living room and the hallway, the filter canister is full. Not of dirt or hair but full of carpet fibers. I think that if I vacuumed every day, the carpet would be worn out by the time we moved out. The vacuum would simply suck all the fibers out of the carpet and we’d be left with the carpet backing and nothing else. And then of course is the hair matted in the beater bar. Sometimes I hate long hair.

I am going to cut my hair. I’m going to donate the length to Locks of Love, if they’ll have it. I’m hoping for a shoulder length cut that will allow me to really maximize my curls. Of course, we’ll have to see if I can find someone I trust enough to cut my hair. I’m also going to get Jael’s hair cut. Israel and I are tired of her hair being in her face all the time. She’s started chewing on her hair, which is disgusting. So, as soon as I find someone I trust and I’m down to 230 pounds for at least two weeks, we are going to get a hair cut. I’m praying I don’t end up with hair like this…

I want my curls to look like individual curls, not a large east to west (and north to south for this poor lass) mat. Anyway, that’s the plan. I’ve got another pound and a half to go and then I need to maintain that for another week. So at least two weeks to go. But soon. Before it gets any hotter.

The beaches here are so much cleaner than last year. They’ve worked really hard and I appreciate it. Now, I am not saying that our beaches are nice but with what nature has given them, I think they’ve improved the beaches a lot since last year. Because of the islands off the coast, we don’t get real waves here and so the beaches don’t get cleaned naturally. When it rains, the whole sandbar which is Biloxi, drains into the Gulf, which is about two feet deep the first 1/2 mile or so out. So the beaches have a lot going against them.

Where as last year, the sand was filled with debris, supposedly from Katrina, this year, the sands are fairly free from crap. The water line is still yucky but like I said, I think that’s due to the storm run off as much as anything else.

So anyway, Jael and I went to the beach yesterday. It was a lot of fun. She played in the surf and sand while I laid out in my new swimsuit.

My new swimsuit. The first time I’ve ever spent real money on a swimsuit. I think I spent $28 on a suit in highschool. Since then I’ve probably spent about that much on the last two suits I’ve bought, both from Wal-Mart. This year, I decided I didn’t want to feel nasty in my suit. We have a pool and are a 1/4 mile from the beach. I figure I’m going to be spending a lot more time in my swim suit than I have since we lived at Knightsbridge. So I spent $60 on a two piece tank suit. You know that kind, it covers everything that a one piece covers but it’s in two pieces. I really like it. Because it’s not snug against my belly, it smooths the appearance there. It also has a skirted bottom, which, because it’s not connected to the top, hangs better and freer than others I’ve tried. It was totally worth it. I actually felt attractive in my swimsuit. I don’t know that that’s ever happened to me before. It was very exciting.

But…I got a little burned again. If I make it through life and never get skin cancer or have a skin cancer scare, it will be a miracle and of no credit to me. To be fair, I don’t think I could have gotten sun screen on my back in the places I burned so I don’t think I’m completely to blame. Of course I could have worn a t-shirt but what’s the fun in that?

We went camping this last weekend…or at least, it was a weekend for us. Israel worked last Saturday and Sunday but had Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday off so we headed to Florida to Grayton Beach State Park to camp. The park surrounds the Western Lake, a brackish (fresh and salt water) lake, and also has a mile or so of beach. It was very beautiful, if a bit chilly.

We had planned on swimming but as temperatures never edged over 70 degrees Farenheit, we kept our jeans and sweatshirts on. Our campsite was about twenty feet from the edge of the lake. In the following photo, if you look across the lake, you will see a couple of white signs. One of those signs is at our campsite. It says to swim with caution and to be on the look out for alligators.

We set up camp Monday night and then went to the beach and enjoyed a beautiful but chilly sun set.

We returned to our campsite where Israel prepared a quiche-like dish from bisquick and eggs. It was tasty but definitely not what one normally thinks of as quiche. He washed the dishes and I helped rinse and dry. As the sun set, the temperature began to drop and we were all ready to crawl into the tent and under the blankets. We went up to the bathhouse, brushed our teeth and put on our pajamas. Yes, despite my nude sleeping habits, when sleeping outside in below 4o degree weather, I too, wear pajamas.

We all crawled under the covers; Israel and I at the head of the air mattress and Jael at our feet. I read her a chapter from Winnie the Pooh and we turned out the lights. We stayed up for a bit and talked and then Israel got up to use the restroom again. When he returned, he urged us to come out and look at the stars. They were amazing. It has been so long since I’ve seen stars that bright. I’ve never seen Pilades - or at least not that clearly. I had never before been able to identify Orion’s sword or the Little Dipper so clearly. Over the ocean they were especially clear since there is no light pollution over the water.

Shivering in the cold, we hurried back to the tent and attempted to sleep. I was having a hard time getting comfortable and I was trying to ignore my bladder. While I wasn’t exactly warm under the blankets, I knew I would be colder out and I did not want to go to the bathroom in the dark. The bath house is in the center of the loop of campsites. You have to walk between two campsites to get to the bathroom. The trail is a tunnel through the woods. There are no lights

But my bladder finally won out and I ventured out into the cold. My eyes were fully adjusted to the darkness and I had no trouble finding the bathhouse. However, after walking out of the bathhouse’s bright interior, my night vision was shot to heck. I was able to find the entrance to the trail from the glow of the bathhouse, but once I entered the pathway, the trail and the spaces between the trees all blurred into one. I continued forward and when I suddenly stepped into a campsite, I paused, suddenly unsure about my location. The campsite I passed on the way in had two poles at the edge. This one did not. I looked behind me but could see nothing to indicate where I went wrong. Deciding that returning to the warmth of my bed was more important than trespassing through someone else’s campsite, I quickly cut through their site to the road where I was able to see our tent across the way. I hurried back inside and under the covers.

The rest of the night passed uneventfully, if cold and somewhat awkward. The air mattress had not been filled enough and so every movement made by one member of the family, resulted in a wave like motion being experienced by all the others. I woke up every hour or so, which is pretty normal for the first night of a camping trip, at least for me, and each time, I tried to find some way to keep myself warm without having to put the covers over my head but alas, it was the only answer. I HATE having my head under the covers. The air gets hot and stuffy and moist. It’s horrible. I wrapped the covers up over my head with just my mouth and nose sticking out. I would fall asleep, the covers would move and I would wake up freezing the next hour.

We woke up for good around seven o’clock. We were all very, very cold. Jael and I went up to the bathhouse to change. When I pulled off her socks she began to cry. I dressed her as quickly as I could but even our clothes were cold. Once she was dressed she stopped crying but even after I was dressed, I was chilled.

After returning to the campsite, Israel and I looked at each other and came to the unanimous decision to go out for breakfast. We were just too cold to wait for warm food. We piled into the car and headed for the nearest restaurant. After driving through resort towns of great beauty but not finding a Perkins or a Burger King or even a Waffle House, we stopped at a gas station and asked direction to the nearest place we could get breakfast. We drove past her recommendation as it was a little greasy looking, even for us. However, her directions led us to an area where we were able to find a Burger King. YEAH! And, we were warm from our wonderful car’s heater. YAY!

Then, not sure what to do with our day which we had planned on filling with swimming and sunning on the beach, we flipped through some of the brochures we’d gotten from the Park Rangers. Israel found a state park which had cave tours. That sounded good to me and it wasn’t too far away, so we headed north to the Florida Caverns State Park.

We had to wait for about an hour and a half as a third grade class field trip went through the caverns. We walked along the trails through the forest. They were beautiful and foreign. There were many more vines than would be in a Midwest forest. Oh, and the bugs were really bad. We had forgotten the bug spray at the campsite and we were continually swatting at swarming gnats. Anyway, here’s some pictures from the forest trail.

Here’s the happy camping family.

On of the things we find interesting upon entering the caverns was the large amount of shells in the ceiling.

There were a lot of neat formations. Most did not capture well on film. The Finger showed up well and was one of my favorites simply because it’s so funny.

The curtains were one of my favorite formations. I wish there were more of them.

South America Lake was really neat. It was on a shelf about four feet off the ground, perfectly still and very much in the shape of South America.

We left the park and found a city park to have lunch at. Israel made red beans and rice. It was wonderful. Jael got to play with a little girl at the park and even though she stepped on some pokey seed pods, she had a fun time.

We got back to the campsite in time to start thinking about supper. We wanted to do s’mores so we inquired about firewood at the ranger station. They told us they were sold out and all the stores in the area were sold out. I guess we weren’t the only chilly ones last night. We took a walk around the campground, scavanging left over wood from empty (as in, no tents or campers or cars) campsites and from the surrounding woods. We didn’t find much but we found enough.

Israel got supper started, a chili-like dish. He used three cans of beans, a can of Rotel, a bag of spices he’d prepared at home and a corn muffin mix. He mixed the beans and tomatoes and spices and got them simmering. Once they were simmering, he poured the muffin mix over the top, covered it and let it simmer until the top was done. It was AMAZING! I mean, he just threw it together, not really knowing what he was doing (self stated) and it turned out so good that we plan on making it at home as well.

After he cleaned up supper, he lit the camp fire…with one match. Seriously. One match and we had a fire blazing. I was very impressed. We roasted marshmallows over the coals and then got ready for bed.

We had aired up the mattress more so that was not the problem that it was the night before. I slept much better this night. I think it was a little warmer than it had been the night before. We woke up less chilled than the day before. I took a shower while Israel got breakfast going. By the time I was done, Israel and Jael were eating oatmeal and mine was waiting for me. It hit the spot. We broke camp first thing and then headed to the beach again. We wanted one last look at the Gulf as a clean and pretty entity before heading back to our ugly and dirty Gulf.

Then we drove home, stopping in Mobile for Chinese food. They had the best crab rangoon we’ve found since leaving Kansas City. Yum.

So that was our camping trip. We had a ton of fun. So much fun, in fact, that we are going to try to go once a month or so. You’ll find out here if it happens.

Due to a complete and total moron moment on my part, I arrived at story time very, very sweaty. It all started this morning at 5 o’clock in the morning…

Bing…bong...bing…bong...bing…bong…bing…bong

The alarm went off as it was supposed to and I hit the snooze, as I am supposed to. Because Israel rides his bike into work, in order to be to the gym or the track by 630, he has to leave the house by 550 or 600. On mornings that he doesn’t feel like leaving so early (and therefore having to get up so early) he will drive the car to workout and then drive home, have breakfast and then I will drop him off so I have the car.

After hitting the snooze for the second time, Israel expressed the desire to not go work out but still go into work at the later time (830). Of course this is against the rules and he’s already received a Letter of Counseling for that exact thing. So I suggested that he take the car in, come home for breakfast and then Jael and I would drive him in. Since that means he can sleep until 550, he said great. I set the alarm for 550 and we went back to sleep.

At 550, we got up, I made him some Gatorade while he put on PC clothes. I kissed him goodbye and sat down to check my email. The only message I received was a voice mail from one of his sergeants from 530, telling him that they were doing a recall and he needed to be at work as soon as possible.

“CRAP!” I thought. I figured he would either find out at the gym or I’d tell him when he got home. Since either way, he was going to be in a rush, I got him clean clothes and put them on the dinning room table along with his razor and shaving cream. I made him some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for breakfast and got his lunch all ready. Knowing that a messy house stresses him out, I picked up the living room and swept the kitchen. I cleaned off the horizontal surfaces that seem to magnetically attract papers, pens, ponytail holders, combs, cups, plates, and other random things of life. I even got Jael up an dressed and made her breakfast so we would be ready to go. We were all ready to go and he wasn’t home yet so we waited.

And waited.

And waited.

About half an hour after he really should have been home from PC, he called. As he pulled up to the track, he was told that his squadron was doing a recall and he needed to go to the shop. Because he normally rides in, he had a uniform there. So he went ahead and went to work. But now he had the car and I didn’t. This wouldn’t be a big deal on most days but on Tuesday’s Jael has a date with Story Time and it is the highlight of her four-year old’s life. Israel said he would try to be home by 930 or 10 so we could take the car.

I told him to try but if not it wasn’t a huge deal because we could just walk. Here’s where the problem starts. The library used to be only one mile from our house. The gym was two miles from our house but on the same road as the library. We’ve moved almost four miles from our old house. Now the gym is about 1.6 or 1.7 miles from our apartment. The means the library is a lot closer to three miles away than the two I was thinking. But for some reason, I had it in my head that the library was only 2 miles away. So I figure the average walking speed is four miles an hour. We should leave the house about 930 to be at story time by 1000. About two blocks from the house I realize my mistake. So we start hurrying. I’m pushing Jael in the stroller, knowing she’s not up to maintaining a 4 mph walk for two miles. Have I mentioned the wind? It was very, very windy. Most of the time we were sheltered from the wind by buildings or overgrown fences but every now and then a gust would hit me and push against the stroller.

Then, as we neared the train tracks, we heard the train’s whistle. I knew we were already going to be pushing it to get there on time and if we had to wait on a train, we would definitely not make it on time. So I started walking faster. Luckily, as we reached the tracks, we saw that the train was far down the line and we were able to make it across without having to race any trains.

We finally get to the library (after having to wait for the crosswalk of stupidity. Notice in the picture how the button is 10, 15 feet from where the sidewalk ends. Yay Biloxi.) We arrive 15 minutes late. I’m not hot until we step into the building and I bend over to unbuckle Jael. Then the sweat starts pouring off my body. I step into the bathroom to grab a paper towel and try to mop myself up. I look in the mirror and the back of my shirt is completely soaked through as are my pits. Yum. I look like a wreck. Of course my hair is everywhere because it was so windy. I can’t take of my outer shirt because my under shirt is too revealing. And the temperature in the library must be over 80. I thought I was going to die. Luckily, they don’t ever say anything to me about drinking water in there because I was guzzling my water like there was no tomorrow. Luckily by the time we headed outside for the Easter Egg Hunt, I was cooled off enough to be mostly presentable.

Of course this was the week that we had about five new families at story time. The other three mom’s know me and I don’t feel too embarrassed about being a sweaty mess. They saw me all last summer after we rode in so this wasn’t too new. But the poor new people. They must have thought I was a freak.

But Israel came and picked me up which was wonderful. Chris and Arianna had both offered me rides home so I wouldn’t have had to walk back home, not that it would have been a bad walk if I wasn’t hurrying.

But, as Chris said, that was my workout for the day. So all in all it was okay. I worked out on Sunday, doing various arm and chest, leg, and abdominal exercises; Monday, at Curves; Tuesday, walking to the library. So today I’m headed to the gym again. Maybe I’ll actually have a good week of working out. Here’s hoping!

I just started writing with no thought as to plot or characters or anything. I wrote the first line and then I wrote the second and so on and so forth. This is the little 600 words that happened…

I closed my eyes and wished I were in another place, another time, another body. Anything to escape this, to remove my friends from this. I heard the snapping of far off shots and held my breath, wondering if they would remain afar or if they would head our direction. Peter shifted and I felt his breath against my cheek. His arms around me were strong but I knew he must be tired. He was still weak from his own bought of illness and my weight, though less than before I got sick, would be wearing on him.

“I think they’re readying the next search. Are you ready to go again?” His voice was low, reaching only the ears of those huddled around him. Eric, a young farm boy from the next town over, watched Peter with eyes wide open. In the fading light of twilight, his eyes were the most prominent feature of his dark face. Fran, an orphan who, like me had gotten the sickness six weeks ago, lifted her face to look at Peter with dead eyes before lowering her head back onto her bony knees. She wrapped her lank arms, clad thinly in her hospital gown, around her legs, drawing them closer to her chest, squeezing into the smallest space possible. I knew she would not make it to the next stopping point without help, if at all. Gary, nodded solemnly from his position across from Peter. Gary was the only one of our group who had not been sick and I hoped he would be spared…at least until we were in a safe location. We would not be able to save him if his temperature sky rocketed in the first stage of the sickness.

I had heard talk of a few who were immune to the sickness and I hoped Gary was one of the lucky few. When I’d asked the nurse about it, her hands paused for just a moment from their massaging of my legs before she answered gruffly, “What you talking about, child? You running some more fever? You start talking craziness again, the doc, he’s gonna put you back on the drip.”

I had closed my lips tightly least I might say something which would result in being returned to the nightmare like landscape of the “drip” induced coma, or Dripma as it had been dubbed. I shuddered slightly in Peter’s arms, remembering the cold of the Dripma world. They said I was under for three weeks, longer than any other survivor, but I had years of memories from that place. Peter looked down at me, concern on his face.

“Do you need to rest longer, Janee?” His question was quieter than his last. I knew he worried about me more than the others but I, being carried, would not be the one to slow them down with requests to rest. I shook my head.

And that’s all, folks. This has been a free writing experience with Becky Walker. See you next time on, “No Planning Whatsoever.” Now, a word from our sponsor…

I’m not sure what bothered me more…the lameness of the parade or the creepiness of the grown men begging for crap.

We went to a Saint Patrick’s Day Parade yesterday. We’d not taken our daughter to a parade and thought she might enjoy it. She did so our mission was accomplished it but it was still odd.

The parade itself was, well, different from any other parade my husband and I had ever been to. The parades we’ve gone to before included: marching bands from local high schools, decorative floats from extracurricular clubs, floats from various business and clubs from the city, antique cars, the shriners, clowns, etc. This parade had large trucks, semi tractors and tow trucks, pulling trailers which had been painted marginally in St. Patrick’s Day colors but bore a uncanny resemblance to what I would assume Mardi Gras parade trailers looked like. Green, yellow (or gold), purple. Cheap beads. Beer. Load music.

We had fun but would not probably go again. The music was WAY too loud. It hurt my ears. The crowd is standing not five feet from the “floats” and yet the music is blaring loud enough to hurt the ears of someone twenty feet back. (My hubby stayed back in the shade.) We stood next to two men. Both were older and very…well, they were really fat. Both had that look. I saw it often when working at the Pierce Street Fareway and often when working at OU (which I had a nightmare about last night, oddly enough.). It’s a look of voluntary mental retardation.

There are those who are born with a small cup. There are those born with average cups and those born with large cups. The size of your cup is predetermined. You can’t change the size of your cup. What you can choose is how full your cup is. A mentally retarded person who has a smile on their face and has worked to better themselves in every way they can, has a full cup. They have my respect. An average Joe or even a genius who, through laziness of the mind and body, has a small swish in the bottom of his cup and nothing else, has nothing from me but disgust.

These men were in the latter category. They were fat not from the love of food but the hatred of doing. They stood there begging for a handout because they’d given up self respect and dignity long ago. They gathered their useless baubles and cheap cups, baseball caps, plastic footballs, toy pipes, and the like with a greedy urgency. They lugged their tote bag of “treasures” away with them as though they’d actually received something of value.

Sorry to have ranted on two strangers. My daughter lugged her crap home with the same emotion. She feels she got real treasure and to a four year old, a couple of pounds of shiny Mardi Gras beads are treasure. I simply hope that by the time she’s an adult, she has more permanent treasures to seek.

Oh, and I got sunburned. Jael is fine. Israel is fine. I toasted. Which I do every summer when I pull out the tank tops. You’d think I’d learn. I guess my cup’s not overflowing yet, is it?

Not really quite sure where to begin on this one. I’ve honestly not read that many quotes of our Commander and Chief, George W. Bush, so I am surprised and appalled by his obvious and transparent fear mongering. In the following article, I am going to underline some key points and then comment (in red) immediately after. If you wish to read the article in its entirety without comment first, click on the title.

Bush Warns House on Surveillance

WASHINGTON — With the House poised to vote today on electronic surveillance legislation that the White House has said falls far short of its requirements, President Bush warned legislators strongly Thursday morning against passing what he called “a partisan bill that will undermine American security.”

In clear defiance of the White House, (which is a separate and not higher branch of our Federal Government) the proposal from House Democratic leaders would not give retroactive legal protection to the phone companies that helped in the National Security Agency program of warrantless wiretapping. (So they did something illegal or at least unethical, thereby worthy of litigation and now they want protection. Whoops.) Mr. Bush also threatened to veto any such measure, should it reach his desk. (So why do we even bother with the Senate and Congress if the only laws that are going to get passed are the ones the President agrees with. Why don’t we just let him run the whole damn country?) I’m going to interrupt my rantings to include a quote from Represntative John Coyers, Jr. (D-Mich), “At the same time the administration is trying to intimidate the Congress into giving it additional spying power, we find out yet again that it has abused its authority to pry into the lives of law abiding Americans,” Conyers said in a statement.

The Senate last month passed a bill that did provide such protection and also broadened government eavesdropping powers. (That’s great. Just great. I’ll tell you what the government needs more of…eavesdropping powers. Yup. They do not have enough power. Think how much easier Ruby Ridge would have been if they could have just listened to phone conversations and saved the trouble of sending a man up to trick Randy Weaver into breaking the law. I mean, think of the money we will save if we just give the Feds more power.)

Using tough language on a subject on which he has been persistent and unswerving, Mr. Bush warned (or what? He’ll send them to time out?) House members that “they should not leave for Easter recess without getting the Senate bill to my desk.”

He argued that failure to pass the Senate language would make it harder to detect emerging terrorist threats. (I would really like to hear about some of these emerging terrorist threats they’ve detected so far by eavesdropping on whoever the hell they want to. Oh, wait, that’s right. They are probably being held in the secret prisons which are in secret locations where we can do secret stuff to the them. I forgot.)

“Voting for this bill would make our country less safe,” (right…because removing rights from the populace is such a good way to make your people safe…Idiot.) Mr. Bush said. “Congress should stop playing politics with the past and focus on helping us prevent attacks in the future.” (First of all, Congress is not playing politics with the past [maybe they are but the result is not]. They are preventing, ironically, big companies from being shielded from the consequences of their behavior. Second, if Mr. Bush is really so concerned with future terrorist attacks, maybe he should get us the hell out of the Middle East. If we as a country had kept our word after the first Gulf War and removed our troops from Saudi Arabia, Mr. Bin Laden might still be on our side rather than organizing the bloodies terrorist attacks the US has ever seen.)

Democrats have accused the president of fear-mongering, (I have to agree) saying surveillance can be monitored more carefully without losing its effectiveness.

Administration officials say that the Democrats know that the House version would face probable defeat in the Senate. Mr. Bush has threatened, (There we are again with the threatening.) in any case, to veto such language. But House Democratic leaders have shown themselves more ready than in the past for a fight on national security.

Mr. Bush also argued again that the House Democrats’ approach would unfairly expose the phone companies to lawsuits that could potentially be enormously expensive. (HA HA HA HA. Enormously expensive. Not unjust. Not unfair. Not even unkind or mean, but enormously expensive. That’s great. At last the man has revealed that his god is in fact, the dollar bill.)

“House leaders simply adopted the position that class-action trial lawyers are taking in the multibillion law suits they have filed” against the phone companies, he said. This “would undermine the private sector’s willingness to cooperate with the intelligence community, cooperation that is essential to protecting our country from harm.” (Um, not really. I think he’s saying that if this law were passed, the private sector (that being the general populace, I assume) would see it as a precident of not bending over backwards to cooperate with the intelligence community. Why do they need our cooperation when they can just bug our phone. After all, by not cooperating aren’t we just revealing that we have something to hide, therefore giving them reasonable suspicion that we might be terrorists? And of course, that cooperation is ESSENTIAL to protecting our country from harm. Yeah. That’s what Hitler told the people of Germany. “Your cooperation in turning in your neighbors and friends is ESSENTIAL to protecting our country from harm.” Does that freak anyone else out?)

Instead of giving the companies blanket immunity, as the Senate would do, the House proposal was understood to give the federal courts special authorization to hear classified evidence and decide whether the phone companies should be held liable. (So instead of using a case by case approach, the Senate (and Mr. Bush) want to just pretend that there was never any problem and the phone companies couldn’t have possibly done anything wrong, because after all, they are a big business and stand to loose a lot of money if they are found in the wrong and then where would Mr. Bush and his lap dogs get campaigning money?)

But the president said that this approach “could reopen dangerous intelligence gaps (fear mongering) by putting in place a cumbersome court approval process that would make it harder to collect intelligence on foreign terrorists” (fear mongering) and could lead, he said, to disclosure of state secrets. (fear mongering) I would like to read about someone who was a genuine threat and was found through their phone conversations. I’d really like to hear about it. Maybe it’s happened and I’ve simply not been paying attention. If such a case has happened, please leave a link the sources so I can be informed.

“Their partisan legislation would extend protections we enjoy as Americans to foreign terrorists overseas,” Mr. Bush said. (Gee, I really don’t see that. If a terrorist is overseas having a phone conversation with someone in the US, and they are seen to be a threat, our government has the soveriegnty to apprehend the person on US soil. So, what protection are they “extending” to foreign terrorist overseas? Oh, that’s right. Mr. Bush has stated that any country that has a terrorists in it (or is suspected of having a terrorist in it) is an enemy of the US. So we can go apprehend them from any other country as well. I think the real problem Mr. Bush has with this legislation is that it would limit the number of countries he can order our troops to invade and would limit the frequency of such action.)

In a statement yesterday, 19 Democratic members of the House Judiciary Committee questioned the administration’s arguments.

“We have concluded that the administration has not established a valid and credible case justifying the extraordinary action of Congress enacting blanket retroactive immunity as set forth in the Senate bill,” they said.

Some 40 lawsuits are pending in federal courts, charging that by cooperating with the eavesdropping program put in place after the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks, the phone companies violated their responsibilities to customers and federal privacy laws. (But that’s okay and we should all be thankful that Mr. Bush is willing to set our rights aside to protect us from the evil terrorists. We should not hold the phone companies liable for their behavior. We shouldn’t ask them to be responsible or even ethical. We should give them immunity because…because…otherwise, you are a terrorist-loving, unpatriotic, sinful, ungrateful, tree-hugging turncoat and we don’t like you.)

I am so incredibly tired. I’ve spent the last two hours reading blogs of expatriots, some from the US, some from Australia, some from Britian, and I think one from Canada. So much information. I am not sure where to begin. I want to read everything right now. But I also want to sleep.

Israel stayed home with Jael again last night so I could go to a baby shower. It was a lot of fun. The drive was long but we carpooled so I had three other ladies along for the ride and it was a lot of fun. We ate chips and salsa, fajitas and empanadas (sp?). We drank margaritas. I had one first thing so I’d be good to drive four hours later. We laughed and told birth stories. Some of the ladies have troubled marriages and it makes me sad. I’m so blessed to have Israel and he’s so wonderful.

I told him as I left that when he wants a guy’s night out, all he has to do is say the word and he’s got a free evening. I think he’s stayed with Jael for three evenings in the last two weeks. I feel like life has been so busy and yet nothing’s really happening. Strange, no?

Jael is reading. Yup. Reading. Some of the more complicated (okay, most of the complicated) words still stump her but she’s doing amazingly well. We did some school today; just some worksheets form a big book of “Basic Skills Worksheets” I got a couple of months ago. She tore through things that a couple of months ago stumped her so she’s definitely making progress.

I don’t really have anything else to say. I’m bored. I should go put away clothes and cut up stuff for supper but I just want to take a nap. *sigh*

Oh wait! The time on our computer is an hour fast! It’s not 4 pm! It’s only 3 pm! I have time to take a 15 minute nap! (Forgive me, my ever enduring husband.)

Good-bye!

You may think the title of this blog is a bit presumptious. Wait until you read this before deciding I mistitled it.

Years ago, a friend recommended Michael and Debbie Pearl’s books on childrearing. We read a couple and while they had some good advice and interesting ideas, for the most part, they were a couple of freaky, freaky people. Before realizing the full extent of their creapiness, I signed up for their newsletter/magazine. After receiving it for a couple of months, we realized we didn’t even want it in our house. Neither Israel nor I wanted to write a letter canceling our subscription for fear that we would be chastized, because obviously, if we didn’t like what we were reading it was because we were being convicted and therefore needed to be reading it. And from the letters Michael Pearl received and the advice he gives, that would not be out of character.

We moved from Kansas City to California and the magazines followed us. I finally got online and after some searching was able to discontinue our subscription without having to talk to anyone. YAY!

Yeah…unfortunately, the canceling didn’t seem to take. We moved to Mississippi and continued to get the magazine. We never gave them a forwarding address and yet, here’s the magazine. We moved to a new place and yesterday, what should be in my mailbox but another “NGJ” (No Great Joy - the name of the Pearl’s ministry) magazine. This magazine did not have a forwarded sticker on it. Nope. It had my name and my current address. I don’t understand but am freaked the heck out.

Then Israel opened it and started reading it, thinking perhaps we’d find something ridiculous to blog about. Did he ever. Below, in blue ink, is a letter from a reader and Michael’s advice.

I have tried to read your articles to find an answer to my problem, but I have not been able to find one. So, I write to you in secret. My husband has been talking with another woman for several years without my knowledge. I just found out, and I’m so hurt. My husband says he’s sorry and that he tried to stop several times, but could not get victory.

This is the second time this has happened. My husband is a saved man in the ministry, and this girl has a high position in the ministry as well. I have decided to keep my mouth shut, because I don’t want my husband’s ministry to have a scar. I need help though, because I’m so hurt inside and have no one to talk to. I have to face this girl every week and act as though nothing is wrong. My husband has to work in the office with her a least once a week and act as if nothing is wrong. I don’t want him to talk to her, look at her, or even smile at her, etc., but if he acts funny, I know suspicions will arise in me.

My husband said that he would start being open with me when I ask him questions or ask to see his phone. But I feel like he’s starting to get irritated with me already, as I keep asking and I’m scared of his temper. My husband admits that he has a problem with wanted attention from women, and I fear that it may happen again. I feel so alone and I’m fighting so much with bitterness, anger, thoughts of their conversations and wondering why I wasn’t or am not good enough for him. I feel so betrayed.

I love my husband and our children, and I want him to do the Lord’s work. I don’t want to do anything that will destroy his ministry. Please help me with some advice.

Michael answers:

Fight for your man. Go to the woman personally, and tell her to get another job or you will make her wish she had. Tell your husband that you expect either him or her to quit and go somewhere else. If not, go to work with him and don’t let him out of your sight.

Here are my thoughts on this little tidbit…

I have tried to read your articles to find an answer to my problem, but I have not been able to find one. So, I write to you in secret. First problem. Why are you doing this in secret? Your husband already knows you are concerned. If he is actually interested in “victory” you shouldn’t have to hide the fact that you are seeking advice, unless, of course, he thinks the Pearl’s are a bunch of crackpots. My husband has been talking with another woman for several years without my knowledge. Talking, huh? What a cad. I just found out, You just found out. This woman and your husband have enough of a relationship that you are concerned and you are just finding out. You should be involved enough (and your husband should allow you access to his life enough) that you know about friendships, male or female, before then hit the “years” mark. and I’m so hurt. My husband says he’s sorry and that he tried to stop several times, but could not get victory. I’m not sure what he’s supposed to get victory over. If all that’s happening is conversations, where’s the sin to be victorious over? Maybe you aren’t being as honest as you need to be? Maybe they are having sex in the pews but you are too embarrassed to say so?

This is the second time this has happened. The second time he’s talked to a woman or the second time he’s hidden a relationship from you? My husband is a saved man in the ministry, and this girl has a high position in the ministry as well. I have decided to keep my mouth shut, because I don’t want my husband’s ministry to have a scar. That’s right. Because what’s really important here is that you all keep a nice happy public image while you die from the inside out. You should be more concerned with you marriage, your husband’s soul (if indeed there is sin occurring), and your own self respect and health (if you are continuing to share the bed with a man who’s sleeping around), than with public image. I need help though, because I’m so hurt inside and have no one to talk to. Ironically, no one to talk to except a man you aren’t married to. Hmmm. Ironies aside, why are you alone? Why don’t you have friends you can share this with? If it’s because you are too afraid of “ministry scars” you are a fool. Build some friendships that are deeper than what you had for dinner last night. Be vulnerable and open and then accepting and nonjudgemental when your friends are open and vulnerable in return. I have to face this girl every week and act as though nothing is wrong. Why must you pretend nothing is wrong if something is? Of course, if all that has happened is that your husband and this girl have been friends, than you are overreacting and there isn’t anything wrong. If there’s been an affair, the Bible has guidelines for how adultery should be handled in the church. Follow the Scriptures you claim to believe. My husband has to work in the office with her a least once a week and act as if nothing is wrong. See previous statement. I don’t want him to talk to her, look at her, or even smile at her, etc., You have just given much more validity to their “relationship” by putting all these rules in place. What had been a friendship has now been classified as “illicit.” Again, if there has been adultery, it needs to be dealt with at a corporate level. but if he acts funny, I know suspicions will arise in me. I think you need to be in therapy. Seriously. You shouldn’t be this upset and this “suspicious” over a friendship. And if your husband has committed adultery, you probably need to be in therapy to deal with the betrayal and the hurt.

My husband said that he would start being open with me when I ask him questions or ask to see his phone. Again with the not trusting. He’s a grown man. I would get irritated if Israel wanted to count the cookies every day to make sure I wasn’t having more than my fair share (food being my addiction). But I feel like he’s starting to get irritated with me already, as I keep asking and I’m scared of his temper. Stop the train. You are afraid of you husband. This should not be a letter asking for advice on how to stop him from talking to another woman. This should be a letter asking for advice on how to get yourself and your children out of the house without endangering anyone needlessly. If you are afraid of you husband, get the hell out of the house. You both need counseling. Him for being angry or violent enough to make you afraid; you for staying in a dangerous relationship for all these years or, and this is the clincher, for being willing to say your husband is abusive (what else do you think “afraid of his temper” means?) when in reality you don’t have the maturity to deal with normal adult relationships, which include some conflict. My husband admits that he has a problem with wanted attention from women, (I’m a woman and I like attention from woman. I like attention from men, too. I enjoy people noticing me. I also enjoy people noticing my husband. I like it when people think he’s neat and want to talk to him. I find it very complimentary to me. I chose well.) and I fear that it may happen again. What happen again? Talking to another human being who happens to be female? I feel so alone and I’m fighting so much with bitterness, anger, thoughts of their conversations and wondering why I wasn’t or am not good enough for him. I feel so betrayed. Again, you need friends, girl. You need to make some friends outside of your immediate family. You need to deal with your bitterness. That crap will eat you up from the inside out. Seriously. Bitterness will destroy you. Anger is not necessarily bad. If something wrong had happened, you I should be angry. Of course, if you are angry because he chats with a coworker, you do probably need to be dealing with anger issues. Stop thinking about their conversations and ask your husband what they’ve talked about. Maybe you’ll find out that they went to the same highschool and have many mutual friends. Maybe they both like painting and have been discussing different water color techniques. Maybe they are having phone sex and you do have reason to be upset. You will never know until you ask you husband and he has the integrity to tell you the truth. And if he doesn’t, a “scar” on his ministry is the least of you problems.

I love my husband and our children, and I want him to do the Lord’s work. So much that you are willing to sacrifice your marriage so he doesn’t look bad. I don’t want to do anything that will destroy his ministry. Oh, like keeping your mouth shut until he has a high profile, public affair that blows up and makes the whole Christian community look bad? Thanks. Please help me with some advice. Or, give me some really crappy advice that won’t help at all.

1. “Fight for your man.” Not bad in and of itself. But the way he advises to go about fighting for her man…yikes.

2. “Go to the woman personally, and tell her to get another job or you will make her wish she had.” Okay, okay, I am trying to write about this but the laughter in my brain just won’t stop. The Pearl’s pride themselves on being based on the bible. Where do they find support for making someone’s life miserable in order to get your way in the Bible? Because that’s what he’s saying. First, you make an ultimatum. “Quit or I’ll make you wish you had.” Okay, then when she doesn’t quit, what are you supposed to do? Start slashing her tires? Begin telling people what a slut she is? Maybe egging her house and calling at all hours of the night is the answer. With open ended advice like that, anything is possible. Michael stresses consistency and following through with threats in his parenting advice. Why would dealing with adults be any different? So, if this girl doesn’t quit, now this woman is stuck with having to make someone else’s life miserable. Sounds like a great way to model Christ.

3. “Tell your husband that you expect either him or her to quit and go somewhere else.” Whoa, Whoa, whoa. TELL you husband? TELL? I thought that Michael Pearl supported women being submissive to their husbands. Maybe telling your husband what to do means something else to him but to me, it smacks of being unsubmissive. (I am NOT agreeing with Michael Pearl’s view of submission but simply pointing out his own inconsistencies.) My question when I hear this is “Or what?” What if he doesn’t quit or she doesn’t quit? Oh, yeah, last sentence…

4. “If not, go to work with him and don’t let him out of your sight.” Wow. Well, that is certainly one way to build trust and faith in a relationship. And I’ll bet his boss will be really pleased when wife and kids (because they should all be homeschooled if you are a follower of the Pearl’s) show up to shadow Daddy at work. And what if you husband doesn’t happen to work in the ministry where that sort of thing might be acceptable? What if one’s husband works in a controlled or secure area? What if he works in a construction site? What are you going to do when he has to leave town for a business trip? Come on, Michael.

There are just so many things wrong. I think the first thing that needs to be addressed is the truthfulness of this letter. I don’t think she’s telling the whole story. Either her husband has done more than just talk previously in their marriage or he’s doing more than just talking right now. OR, and this is a big OR, she’s seriously this worked up because her husband is talking with a coworker.

My husband and I have a great relationship. We also have great friendships outside of each other. One of my best friends, is also one of his best friends. She came down and spent two weeks with us last summer. We went up and stayed with her for two weeks this fall. She plans on coming to Germany and staying with us for 6 months. Israel and she talk on the phone once a week or so, sometimes less often, sometimes more often. Sometimes I’m home, sometimes I’m not. If I’m not, Israel makes sure to tell me so that it doesn’t seem as though he’s hiding anything. I’m not concerned about him having an affair with her. Do you know why?

Because I’ve made a conscious decision to trust my husband and my best friend. Would I want them to go on a month long back packing trip through the Rockies by themselves? No. If such a situation happened (through no fault of their own, like a plane crash or something) would I believe them when they said nothing inappropriate happened? Yes, I would. I can’t live any other way. If I can not trust my husband to be honest with me, than there’s nothing I can do. Yes, I could follow him around and watch his every move. If he doesn’t respect me enough to tell me the truth, why would he respect me enough to change his behavior just because I’m watching. And if the only reason he’s behaving is because I’m watching, what happens when I can’t watch him?

The only way to have a relationship with any meaning is to trust. What Israel does is his responsibility. If he has an affair, there will be consequences and he knows that. If he looks at too much porn, there are consequences. If I eat a whole bag of Hershey’s Kisses, there are consequences. If I don’t clean the house and he has to come home to a pigsty, there are consequences. If I have an affair, there are consequences.

Part of being an adult is taking responsibility for your actions. Israel and I have made a commitment to be 100% honest with each other, which includes telling the other when we’ve screwed up.

We don’t hide things. Why be married if you aren’t going to be soul mates?

We don’t lie to each other. How could I lie with a man, allowing him access to me while I am more vulnerable than at any other time, if I’m lying to him and vice versa?

We are honest about our weaknesses. How can you address a problem if you don’t know it exists? How can we be a help to each other if we don’t share our struggles?

We help each other and lean on each other when we need a shoulder to help us along. Why have a relationship if you aren’t going to be bettered and neither is your partner?

My point is that Michael Pearl’s advice smacks of distrust. It smacks of someone who thinks the best way to find out what’s going on is to follow the person around. The only way to make sure your spouse is doing what they are supposed to is to shadow them. Where’s the trust? Where’s the love? Love doesn’t do that.

God doesn’t hound us, following after us, waiting for us to screw us so He can pounce on us. God doesn’t give us ultimatums. Well, only the “follow Me or suffer eternal damnation” one but other than that, God doesn’t say, “Preach the gospel here or I’m going to give you fecal incontinence.” God says, do this. God sets the standard. We make a choice of whether or not we are going to strive to meet that standard. If we decide to not meet it, than we suffer the consequences, be what they may. If we decide to meet the standard, than we must do all we can to meet it. If we are unable, God is there to help us. He’s more than willing to help us. I think He enjoys giving us a hand for that last heave up the mountainside. He’s not just going to do it all Himself. He expects us to put some effort into it.

The conclusion I’ve come to is that I’m going to have to make this magazine stop. This man’s advice is so bad, I don’t even want it in my home. I am not looking forward to having to speak to them or write to them or in any way alert them to my existence but this drivel has to stop coming into my home. I get enough drivel through the news.