I took my car in to the shop today for some suspension work and left with a feeling of language acquisition accomplishment. When I walked in, I remembered to say “Guten Morgen,” or, “Good morning.” An employee came out of the office and returned my greeting. I asked, “Wie geht es Ihnen?” or “How are you doing?” He answerd, “Gute,” and then asked, in German, if I was dropping off the Volvo. I said yes as I attempted to separate my car keys from my house keys. He said, “Schwer” which means “hard.” I grinned and said, “sehr,” very. I handed him my keys and he handed me a form and asked for my phone number. I didn’t catch what he said the first time so I asked “Wie bitte?” “Pardon me?” He repeated it and I caught “Telefonnummer.” After writing down my number, I asked, this time in English how much it would be. He said, in German, that he didn’t speak English. As I fished in my brain for the German question, the customer who had come in behind me asked for me. As the employee was figuring it up, I said, “Ich habe VAT form,” letting him know I had a VAT form. (As service members we don’t have to pay some of the German taxes and the VAT form is what gets us out of them.) As I walked out, I realized that I’d asked him in English without really realizing it because we had been communicating. It just seemed natural that we would be able to continue to communicate if I switched a little bit to English. It was kind of weird but fun, too. I left feeling really good. I would have been able to do the entire conversation in German if I’d needed to. It took me a couple of minutes while driving home to remember how to ask “how much” in German but I did finally remember. “Wieviel costet das?” “How much does that cost?” Not perfect but good enough for communication, which is what I aim for.
Asking for help February 15, 2009
die Brot
This may seem weird to you but I know how to say, “I need something to eat but have no money. I want to work for something to eat,” and that makes me feel safer. I don’t know why but knowing how to say, “Ich brauche etwas essen aber ich habe kein Geld. Ich möschte artbeiten für das Essen für mir und meine Tochter” gives me a sense of security. If the world fell apart and our money was worthless and our credit and debit cards wouldn’t work, I can still say, Can we wash dishes for a bite to eat? It’s a good thing to know.
Translation of above phrase: I need something to eat but I have no money. I want to work for the food, for me and my daughter.
Sleepless Nights and Jazz February 14, 2009
The other night, in an attempt to settle Jael down with some quiet activities, as both Israel and I were sporting severe headaches, Israel put on some jazz and instructed us to draw what the music made us see in our minds. I closed my eyes, leaned back against our wonderful couch and let the music flow through my head. And this is the picture it made:
Jazz; in colored pencil and charcoal
Last night as I fell asleep, I was thinking of a picture I’d like to draw and paint. I’d bought a few things at Micados, watercolor paper, water colors, and a new sketchpad, and I wanted to try them out. So while trying to pin down something to paint my mind slipped off to another thought. German. I began running through the German phrases we are working on in class and remembering vocabulary words (or trying to remember). I began to count as high as I could before falling asleep when the following picture popped into my mind and I knew it was what I would draw and paint. I call it, “Danke schön, Herr Trost, for all my sleepless nights.”
Danke schön, Herr Trost, for all my sleepless nights; watercolor and felt tip marker
These are the pencil drawings I did first. They are pretty cool in their own right.
Sleepless Nights; pencil
Sleepless nights, detail; pencil
That’s what I’ve been up to. That and having dreams which made me realize afresh that I am committed to always being the best Becky Walker I can be, wherever I am, whatever life situation I am in. The dream involved an old crush and you know how dream emotions are. When you wake up, you still kind of feel them. So as I tried to fall back asleep (which I was unable to do) I thought about what might have happened between this crush and I if my life situation had been different when we met (I was married). Then I wondered what might happen between us if something were to happen to Israel (which I in no way want but it’s always a possibility. Death grabs many people by surprise.). I felt a stab of guilt before I realized that there should be no shame in living life to the fullest. When we first met, I was very happily married and so there could be nothing beyond friendship. I would not trade what I have with Israel for anything. However, if something were to remove Israel from my life, I would not have any guilt about living my new life to the fullest. Each life situation has it’s advantages and disadvantages.
As a single person, all I wanted to do was get married. I missed out on a lot of things that a married person simply can’t do, like take off across the country on a whim, bungee jump, sky dive, things like that. I could have had an art room and really pursued various interests with no expectation put upon me. I love my family and again, would not trade them for anything, but having a family does put limitations on a person, as does being single. When I was single, I did not have a husband to spoon with at night. I didn’t have the stability of eating three square meals a day. I didn’t have the accountability of sleeping well. Of course, I had the option of staying up late and being crabby in the morning. I don’t have that option when I have a child to care for. There are advantages to both sides and I wish I would have taken advantage of those more when I was single.
I am incredibly happy that I’m living my married life to the fullest. There are so many things that are wonderful about being married. Fifty percent of my college tuition is paid for because of my husband’s job. I am living in Germany because of my husband’s job. I have one of the most amazing children in the world, who I could not have had without Israel. I have an expectation placed on me of cooking healthy meals, three times a day, which at first glance seems like a disadvantage but for my health, it’s an advantage. I have an expectation put upon me of being responsible with our money which results in me having better money skills and more money to spend. I have an expectation put upon me of not wasting our resources, which means I’m getting out walking more than I would if I were single. So beyond the obvious advantages of being married (I don’t have to go to work and I’ve got a built in bed warmer) the things that would appear as disadvantages are advantages if looked at through the right lens of living life to be the best you can be.
I love life.
I love where I am in life right now and I hope that whatever tomorrow brings, I will love that too. Life sometimes throws us curve balls that are truly horrible but I hope that no matter what I will live each moment as the best Becky Walker I can be. If life throws me tragedy, I hope I can be the best depressed artist/writer/blogger/crafter that Becky Walker can be.
Life is good.
Heads up! February 13, 2009
Just wanted to give you all a heads up regarding a new and fascinating blog. Actually, as many of you may know, I started blogging on Yahoo360 (the world’s worst blogging site) and blogged there for over a year. Not wanting to loose a year’s worth of blogs when Yahoo decides to can Yahoo360 (the world’s worst blogging site), I decided to repost them on WordPress. But I didn’t want to post them on here as they would be all out of order and it would weird things up as so much has changed since then. I mean, in one of my first blogs on Yahoo360 (the world’s worst blogging site) I write about how much I love the military life and how excited I am to be an involved ‘military wife’ etc, etc. Put that next to a blog in which I say, “I hate the Air Force. They are screwing Israel over. I never see him. Jael never sees him. His supervisors aren’t working 60 hours a week, why is he? He has to be at work but he’s not doing anything. The military did this stupid thing, that stupid thing. Blah blah blah.” It would just be confusing and weird.
So, the old blogs are at preladyrebecca.wordpress.com, and since I can’t make them archive as Winter of 2006 and on, I just dated each entry. The title of the first blog is November 6, 2006.
And I just want to add this little note. A lot of my views and opinions have changed in the last two years. The example above is only one example. If you read something and you feel it’s out of character for the person who’s writing LadyRebecca, that’s because LadyRebeccca is a constantly changing and growing human being. And if you are confused, please ask. That’s what the comment field is for. That and I love getting comments. It lets me know that people are reading my blogs, which makes me happy!
Midterm, quitting and a bit of philosphizing February 11, 2009
I got the only A+ in my class. I am really excited about that. I got a 100% but to be fair, the test was WAAAAAY easy like Herr Trost said.
We are working on more grammar stuff and it is really throwing my classmates for a loop. I wonder what they expected when they signed up for this class. One of the guys today got really angry at Herr Trost and was muttering about how this was a “fucking stupid class.” Another guy asked the same question he asked a week ago and, again, Herr Trost had to spend five minutes explaining it. I heard one of the guys mention he had to get a C in this class or else Tuition Assistance (the Air Force program to pay for college courses you take while enlisted) wouldn’t pay for it and he’d have to pay for it out of pocket. Language courses are hard. Very hard. Especially if you don’t know the grammar of your native tongue. I’m guessing there are probably four or five people who are going to fail this course, or at least get lower than a C. And I wonder what they will blame it on. Will they blame it on Herr Trost? The Air Force? The book? Themselves? Will they think they should have studied more? Will this be an enlightening experience for them in which they realize foreign language is not for them? Or will they simply decide that higher education is not for them?
I don’t know. I just wonder. I do not deal well with failure. I don’t know if I would continue to take this class if I were really struggling. One of the things I am really looking forward to about pursuing my degree is challenging myself. I am looking forward to the class that pushes me to my limit. When I left home and moved to Cedar Rapids, I took some classes at Kirkwood. I took some horse training classes and a photography class. I also took a writing class.
One of our first papers was supposed to be about an important event in our lives. I shared my testimony, or at least one significant part (though I can’t remember what it was). I got a C. I didn’t think I deserved a C. Grammatically the paper was perfect but the professor said I didn’t know my audience. I didn’t write to the audience; I assumed they would know what I was talking about. I didn’t explain who God was or what sin was; I assumed the people reading my paper had grown up in Western Christianity and spoke fluent Christianese.
At the time, I couldn’t see any of this and I thought he just didn’t like me because I was a Christian. Now, as someone who no longer calls herself a Christian and as someone who has learned to see things from others points of view, I can see that he was right. But at the time, I simply saw that I was “failin,” or simply not exceeding which to me felt like failure. I didn’t get an A. I didn’t even get a B. I got a C and I didn’t know how to fix it. So instead of going to my teacher and talking with him about it and finding out what I needed to do to improve, I dropped the class.
I quit.
And I didn’t take another college class until this German class. Why? Why was I so afraid of failure that I couldn’t handle a “C” paper, which in all honesty, was probably a “C” paper. I couldn’t handle it. I was distraught and broken.
What will I do when it happens again, as I am sure it will? Will I be able to work through it? Will I be able to humble myself and ask for help? Will I be able to take the constructive criticism and make it work for me or will I give up and cry? Will I be strong or will I be weak?
I just don’t know but I want to find out. I want to find out what my limit is. What if there is a brilliant geologist hiding in my brain? What if there’s a biochemist trapped in there? What if an archeologist or a war reporter or a talented artist is beneath the layers of complacency and safety I’ve wrapped around myself? What if I peel back the layers and it’s just me, with no layers? Will I be okay with that, too?
I don’t know.
But I aim to find out. Yay for me and my amazing brain!
Ein klein Blog auf Deutsch February 2, 2009
Heute Abend bin ich sehr müde. Die Studenten in mein Klass verstehen Deutsch nicht sehr gut. Sie machen mir müde. Ich gehe nach Bett.
I am tired this evening. The students in my class do not understand German very well. They make me tired. I am going to bed.
Mein erste Blog auf Deutsch January 26, 2009
Das ist mein erste Blog auf Deutsh. Ich vorsetelle meine familie und mir. Ich heiße Becky Walker. Mein Mann ist Israel und meine Tochter heißt Jael. Wir wohnen in Deutschland. Ich komme aus Iowa, USA. Israel kommt auch aus Iowa, USA. Jael kommt aus Missouri. Mein älterer Bruder ist auch aus Missouri. Mein jünger Bruder, Mutter, und ältere Schwester kommen aus Iowa. Mein Vater kommt aus Kansas.
Ich arbeite zu Hause. Ich bin eine Hausfrau von Beruf. Mein Mann arbeite auf dem Flugplatz Spangdahlem. Er ist Mechaniker von Beruf. Meine Tochter ist Studierin zu Hause. Sie ist fünf Jahre alt. Sie ist im Kindergarten.
Ich lerne Deutsch im Klassenzimmer und kunst zu Hause. Israel lernt Wirtshaftswissenschaften an die Universität. Wir sind Studentin.
Meine Mutter arbeitet im Büro. Mein Vater arbeitet Außenseite, washt Fenster. Mein Schwager auch washt Fenster. Mein Schwester arbeitet im Krankenhaus. Mein älterer Bruder arbeitet im Fabrik und mein jünger Bruder arbeitet im Rock and Roll Band.
Deutsch ist Spaß.
This is my first blog in German. I am introducing my family and myself. I am Becky Walker. My husband is Israel and my daughter is named Jael. We live in Germany. I am from Iowa, USA. Israel is also from Iowa, USA. Jael is from Missouri. My older brother is also from Missouri. My younger brother, mother, and older sister are from Iowa. My father is from Kansas.
I work at home. I am a housewife. My husband works at the Spangdahlem Air Base. He is a mechanic. My daughter is a student at home. She is five years old. She is in kindergarten.
I am learning German in a classroom and art at home. Israel is learning economics at the University. We are students.
My mother works in an office. My father works outside, washing windows. My brother-in-law also washes windows. My sister works in a hospital. My older brother works in a factory and my younger brother works in a Rock-and-Roll band.
German is fun.
Sleepy and Bored March 11, 2008
I am so incredibly tired. I’ve spent the last two hours reading blogs of expatriots, some from the US, some from Australia, some from Britian, and I think one from Canada. So much information. I am not sure where to begin. I want to read everything right now. But I also want to sleep.
Israel stayed home with Jael again last night so I could go to a baby shower. It was a lot of fun. The drive was long but we carpooled so I had three other ladies along for the ride and it was a lot of fun. We ate chips and salsa, fajitas and empanadas (sp?). We drank margaritas. I had one first thing so I’d be good to drive four hours later. We laughed and told birth stories. Some of the ladies have troubled marriages and it makes me sad. I’m so blessed to have Israel and he’s so wonderful.
I told him as I left that when he wants a guy’s night out, all he has to do is say the word and he’s got a free evening. I think he’s stayed with Jael for three evenings in the last two weeks. I feel like life has been so busy and yet nothing’s really happening. Strange, no?
Jael is reading. Yup. Reading. Some of the more complicated (okay, most of the complicated) words still stump her but she’s doing amazingly well. We did some school today; just some worksheets form a big book of “Basic Skills Worksheets” I got a couple of months ago. She tore through things that a couple of months ago stumped her so she’s definitely making progress.
I don’t really have anything else to say. I’m bored. I should go put away clothes and cut up stuff for supper but I just want to take a nap. *sigh*
Oh wait! The time on our computer is an hour fast! It’s not 4 pm! It’s only 3 pm! I have time to take a 15 minute nap! (Forgive me, my ever enduring husband.)
Good-bye!
