Dragon Journal October 8, 2009

First of all, I want to apologize for my serious lack of posting. I have been struggling with depression, or rather, since I’m no pyscologist, despondency. Each day has been hard to get through and at the end, I had nothing left with which to post. Not that I didn’t have things to say. I simply lacked the emotional strength to put them onto paper…as it were.

Anyway, I have TONS of pictures to post. I am going to start with the most fun ones. The ones that are easiest to get motivated to do.

A number of months ago, I signed up for a “Dragon Journal” swap. The instructions were to decorate a journal with the theme of dragons. This was what I came up with:

Cover

Bookmark inside front cover

Page 1

Page 2

Page 3

Page 4

Page 5

Pages 6 & 7 -- closed

Pages 6 & 7 -- open

Page 8

Page 9

Page 10

Page 11

Page 12

Page 13

Page 14

Page 15

Page 16

Page 17

Page 18 -- closed

Page 18 -- open

Inside back cover

Back cover

And there you go. That’s my dragon journal. Which cost me $30 to send to England. Kind of sucked but I hope my partner liked it even though it was a month late.

Art, art, art April 4, 2009

This blog was not started as an art blog but due to my current interest, that’s what it seems to be becoming. Of course, since art is the main thing I’m doing right now, it remains an update of my life blog.

I’ve done a lot of little things since I last blogged (sorry, Lisa). I’ve done too many to show them all, though I am working on getting all the photos over to Flickr so that I can showcase the best here and link to the rest over there. But it’s not happened yet. But here’s some of the better things I’ve done of late.

Contrast Study of Vin Diesel as Xander Cage, sans tatoos

I wanted to work on drawing tone. I have a hard time seeing the value of colors and hues. So I decided to start black and white with a high contrast photo. Oh, and I wanted to try out my new ebony black pencil. It’s neat but I’m not sure it’s that much better than plane graphite and charcoal. Oh well.

I’m also working on a couple of journals. One is just little stories about me, like the time my bra broke during gym class, during the jump rope portion of the physical fitness test. The other is for a swap. It’s a Journal with a Twist. Each entry has to have an “extra” with it. An ATC, a recipe, a photo, a painting, a candybar like the one you ate that day. Whatever. Here’s my favorite page so far. And the extra for this one is a print out of the original The New York Times article on Alia Muhammad Baker.

The Librarian of Basra, a true story from Iraq

Here are two ATC’s I did for a swap titled “Good vs. Evil.” We had to make two ATC’s, one showing Good and one showing Evil.

Evil ATC from Good vs Evil

Good ATC from Good vs Evil

Next is an ATC from the Butterfly ATC swap. I glued wrappers from Dove Dark Chocolate Eggs onto a piece of cardstock and then cut out the openings in the butterflies wings. I glued it down and then used water color crayons for the background. Then I drew around it with a Sharpie. Oh, and I used color pencils for the body of the butterfly. Pretty cool, eh?

Dove Dark Butterfly for Butterfly ATC swap

Completed Female with Babe February 16, 2009

Female nude with babe; charcoal on sketching paper

This is the head I started a couple of days ago. Jael wanted to know why she was naked…because I don’t really know how to draw clothes. And I didn’t have a nude model either but skin is easier to guess at than clothing. Anyway. This was my big project for the day…after pushing our car up the hill.

Detail of Female with babe

Valentine’s Sunrise…well, maybe just a landscape February 15, 2009

Landscape in pencil

This was my project for the day. I bought a bag of Dove Valentine Hearts. As usual, the wrappers have a small message printed on the inside. I decided Jael and my art project for the day would be to illustrate our message. Mine was “Watch a sunrise together” and I thought I would draw a sunrise and give it to Israel for Valentines day, along with the wrapper. All went well until I realized I’d out the light source coming from the left, of page and the place I’d intended for the sun (between the hills) was the exact opposite of the light source. Oh well. It still turned out really well.

And for those who care to know, this is pretty close to what the view out our kitchen window looks like. Our landlords have a raised bed vegetable garden made from stones, much like the stone walls on the right of my picture. Our hard has four trees and not two and there is another field between our yard and the forests. Our yard also has birdhouses and a well/fountain and various other landscaping stuff. But other than that, this is what I get to look at every day. And the light source really does come from that direction so I drew accurately what I see but just not what I was seeing in my mind.

Oh, and this is the scarf I’m knitting Israel. It’s probably about 3/4 finished. I’m enjoying it but I’m also ready to move on to other projects. With German taking up two hours of free time I don’t have nearly the time for knitting that I had a couple of months ago. But I try to knit a few rows every day and hopefully it’ll be finished before we leave Germany.

Israel's rainbow scarf - in "Traveling Ribs" pattern

Sleepless Nights and Jazz February 14, 2009

The other night, in an attempt to settle Jael down with some quiet activities, as both Israel and I were sporting severe headaches, Israel put on some jazz and instructed us to draw what the music made us see in our minds. I closed my eyes, leaned back against our wonderful couch and let the music flow through my head. And this is the picture it made:

Jazz; in colored pencil and charcoal

Last night as I fell asleep, I was thinking of a picture I’d like to draw and paint. I’d bought a few things at Micados, watercolor paper, water colors, and a new sketchpad, and I wanted to try them out. So while trying to pin down something to paint my mind slipped off to another thought. German. I began running through the German phrases we are working on in class and remembering vocabulary words (or trying to remember). I began to count as high as I could before falling asleep when the following picture popped into my mind and I knew it was what I would draw and paint. I call it, “Danke schön, Herr Trost, for all my sleepless nights.”

Danke schön, Herr Trost, for all my sleepless nights; watercolor and felt tip marker

These are the pencil drawings I did first. They are pretty cool in their own right.

Sleepless Nights; pencil

Sleepless nights, detail; pencil

That’s what I’ve been up to. That and having dreams which made me realize afresh that I am committed to always being the best Becky Walker I can be, wherever I am, whatever life situation I am in. The dream involved an old crush and you know how dream emotions are. When you wake up, you still kind of feel them. So as I tried to fall back asleep (which I was unable to do) I thought about what might have happened between this crush and I if my life situation had been different when we met (I was married). Then I wondered what might happen between us if something were to happen to Israel (which I in no way want but it’s always a possibility. Death grabs many people by surprise.). I felt a stab of guilt before I realized that there should be no shame in living life to the fullest. When we first met, I was very happily married and so there could be nothing beyond friendship. I would not trade what I have with Israel for anything. However, if something were to remove Israel from my life, I would not have any guilt about living my new life to the fullest. Each life situation has it’s advantages and disadvantages.

As a single person, all I wanted to do was get married. I missed out on a lot of things that a married person simply can’t do, like take off across the country on a whim, bungee jump, sky dive, things like that. I could have had an art room and really pursued various interests with no expectation put upon me. I love my family and again, would not trade them for anything, but having a family does put limitations on a person, as does being single. When I was single, I did not have a husband to spoon with at night. I didn’t have the stability of eating three square meals a day. I didn’t have the accountability of sleeping well. Of course, I had the option of staying up late and being crabby in the morning. I don’t have that option when I have a child to care for. There are advantages to both sides and I wish I would have taken advantage of those more when I was single.

I am incredibly happy that I’m living my married life to the fullest. There are so many things that are wonderful about being married. Fifty percent of my college tuition is paid for because of my husband’s job. I am living in Germany because of my husband’s job. I have one of the most amazing children in the world, who I could not have had without Israel. I have an expectation placed on me of cooking healthy meals, three times a day, which at first glance seems like a disadvantage but for my health, it’s an advantage. I have an expectation put upon me of being responsible with our money which results in me having better money skills and more money to spend. I have an expectation put upon me of not wasting our resources, which means I’m getting out walking more than I would if I were single. So beyond the obvious advantages of being married (I don’t have to go to work and I’ve got a built in bed warmer) the things that would appear as disadvantages are advantages if looked at through the right lens of living life to be the best you can be.

I love life.

I love where I am in life right now and I hope that whatever tomorrow brings, I will love that too. Life sometimes throws us curve balls that are truly horrible but I hope that no matter what I will live each moment as the best Becky Walker I can be. If life throws me tragedy, I hope I can be the best depressed artist/writer/blogger/crafter that Becky Walker can be.

Life is good.

Some art by…Me! February 12, 2009

A couple of months ago I started drawing. Jael loves drawing and asked me to draw with her. So we sat down with a “How to Draw Cats” book and this is what I made:

HB #2 graphite pencil on printer paper

This is another from the same book but I painted it with water color after drawing it.

Watercolors on printer paper

A while later Israel and I were looking at crappy fairy paintings for sale online and Israel said to me, “Becky, you could do this.” To which I responded, “I can’t paint.” At  the mention of painting, Jael asked if we could paint. We weren’t doing anything else and I figured I could try my hand at a fairy and see what I came up with. This is what I painted:

Sad Fairy in Watercolor on clean newsprint paper

Jael asked why she was sad and I said because her favorite oak tree was cut down. So that is why she’s the sad fairy.

A while later, while again drawing with Jael during her “Buggy” phase (Buggy is a small green plushy she got from an exterminator company when they did an exhibit at Lynn Meadows Discovery Center in Gulfport, Mississippi), I drew a bug:

Bug from my imagination in Colored Pencils on printer paper

Realizing that I am not actually the worst artist in the world, I scavenged Israel’s sketch pads and went to work. I also snagged his charcoal pencils and his cool smooshy eraser. I got Glamour from the library since it has lots of pictures of people and that’s something I’d like to be able to draw well. I drew a number of pictures but these two are the two that really turned out nicely:

Woman in Charcoal pencil on sketch paper

Woman in HB #2 graphite pencil on sketch paper

I wish I’d been a little braver with the second picture and darkened it up quite a bit. It’s far to light, especially when photographed. But still…not too bad.

A couple of days ago Israel, Jael, and I went to a friend’s house (the friend who inspired me to do “Bleh”) and I made some Artisit Trading Cards. I’m not completely sure what ATC’s are all about but I’m learning. Here are the four I’ve completed so far:

Water color crayons and marker on water color paper

Water color crayons and marker on water color paper

Mixed Media

"Talk" mixed media

This morning, after getting up with Israel at 4:30 am, I headed back to bed. Before doing so, I wanted to draw just a little bit. The night before, during class, I’d sketched a really basic head and face. I wanted to expound on that a bit with charcoal (which may be my favorite of the medium’s I’ve tried so far, though the water color crayons are pretty freaking cool). This is what I ended up with:

Charcoal on sketching paper

I am actually really happy with this. There are a few flaws but all in all, it turned out pretty close to how I imagined it. I might actually finish this…you know, give her a neck, a body, maybe a physical place in the universe. Stuff like that.

So this is my artistic journey so far. Between studying German, raising my daughter, schooling my daughter, being a great wife, and keeping in touch with the many people I care about who are far away, I don’t have the time to “art” that I wish I did. But what little time I do have, I thouroughly enjoy.

Inspired by a new friend February 6, 2009

I have made some new friends here in Germany (I hope I can be so forward as to call them friends…I’ve only just met most of them) and one inspired me today. She is an artist and blogs here at wordpress. Last month she took part in a challenge. A 31 day, art journal challenge and posted her results on her blog. I was very impressed with her work and felt inspired to make something that expressed how I was feeling. So I made this…

The feeling of the day is...Bleh

The back reads, “A little art journaling to go with a “Bleh” day. Israel’s feeling poorly, Jael’s crazy, I got an “eh” hair cut. Restless and bored feeling. A “Bleh” day. So I made a pretty!”

And that about sums it up. This was done in my sketch pad, 5.5 X 8.5 inches, with a black Uniball, mirco point pen. I love those pens. I think I might have used this one up though. Oops. Sorry Israel. (They are his favorite pens too and I have only recently started using them and so they still feel like they are “his,” you know?)

Anyway, it was fun to do and I used some techniques Sheri taught the kids in Art Class on Thursday. We did something called “Zen Tangles” (correct me if I got the name wrong) and that was the inspiration for the design of “Bleh.”

Other than that, life’s going. I’m in the middle of an internet argument which is always pointless and heartburn causing. My aunt posted a “letter” on Facebook. It’s written as though the Republicans/conservatives were writing a divorce letter to the Democrats/liberals and were deciding how to divide the country. The Right gets the guns, military, NRA, cops, etc. The Left can “keep your precious homeless, hippies, homeboys, and illegal aliens.”

The Right keeps their gas guzzling SUV’s and full size sedans and the Left gets Micheal Moore, Rosie O’Donnell and Oprah (if they can find a biodiesel vehicle large enough to fit them into).

There was a lot more but these were the two things I chose to comment on. First off, my aunt is a Christian and knows her Bible. So I simply suggested that the “libs” take the verses from the Old Testament that commanded the government take care of the poor and the alien. I explained that biodiesel would run in any normal desiel engine so a normal semi ought to be large enough to fit their fat butts into…since the left has such a corner on fatties. (That last line might have been a little harsh but come one. Everyone’s got fat people on their side. Are skinny people the only one’s allowed to have an opinion? I mean, what if they other side notices that your spokesperson is fat? OH NO!)

So then some guy is like, “biodesie sucks. Truckers hate it. What’s wrong with good old oil? Illigal aliens are rapists and murders and job stealers. They don’t pay taxes but we have to pay for their medical bills etc, etc.”

Oh, and my aunt said, “Lighten up, Becky. It’s just a joke.” Yeah, I’ll bet the homeless would laugh their asses off if you read it to them.

I responded (which I probably shouldn’t have but dang it, the guy was an idiot) and said that oil has become a dirty word because it’s a non-renewable resource and when it’s gone, it’s gone so if there are alternatives, let’s use them. We need oil for other petroleum based things like fertilizer. We CANNOT produce our current level of food without petro-chemical fertilizers. I also suggested he check his sources before saying illegals are rapists and murders and informed him that many of them pay taxes but are unable to recieve any benefit from them.

And then I said, “I don’t think this letter was funny. I think it was rude and mean-spirited…The Church should be taking care of the poor but she’s not. When God gave his nation his law he included in the civil law rules for caring for the poor. If you are going to pick and choose which parts of the Bible you are going to follow, choose love, not hate.” Or something very similar to that at least.

So I don’t know. I probably just started a flame war on my Aunt’s page. I wish I felt bad but I don’t. She posted something mean and ill-thought out and I simply pointed out the flaws in it. Of course, no one will change. We humans, we are opposed to change. Changing is the hardest thing any of us ever do.*sigh*

Maybe that’s why I change hobbies so much. That why it never hurts!

Anyway, Life goes on.