Ladyrebecca's Musings and Ramblings

The Increasingly Political Thoughts of Rebecca (Becky) Walker

It’s time for birth control access May 17, 2011

Filed under: Anecdotal,birth,educational,Political — Addicted to Yarn @ 6:50 pm


You know it as well as I do: birth control matters. It matters to the young woman finishing college or starting a career. It matters to the family struggling to make ends meet. It matters to the woman suffering from endometriosis. It matters to the mothers and fathers who treasure the children they have.

When it comes to reducing the number of unintended pregnancies in this country, birth control really matters.

That’s why Planned Parenthood has launched Birth Control Matters, one of the most important campaigns in our history. The goal is to make birth control affordable and accessible for every woman in America. Will you join us me in signing the Birth Control Matters petition today?

The truth is, choice is meaningless without access to affordable care. To protect choice, we must give every woman the support she needs to control her own reproductive health and her life. That’s why birth control matters.

Sign your name to this petition, and pass it on. Together we can ensure that every woman who wants prescription birth control can get it.

To take action on this issue, click on the link below:


PROJECT BAGS AWAY! March 25, 2011

Filed under: Anecdotal,art — Addicted to Yarn @ 12:19 pm

I just made the coolest thing EVER! I am so incredibly happy with it. I’ve been looking at project bags on Etsy and they run anywhere from $10 to $40 and that, plus shipping, is a little steep for me, especially when I am a fully capable seamstress. So I found a tutorial (actually, it was recommended to me but I don’t remember by whom) and whipped one up. This is fabric I’ve had laying around for a while. The outer fabric was gifted to me by my wonderful sister (love you, Angie), the lining is some left over muslin from something else and the strap is a remnant from Jael’s renn fair dress.

I'm on the phone - forgive me.

See Ma? No raw edges!

It's squarey goodness!

And finally, filled with a project.

I am so insanely excited. I might even whip up enough to sell on Etsy but I’m not holding my breath for that.

Oh, and I made one modification to the tutorial. When sewing the box corners, I basted the lining to the outer in the seam allowance so that the lining can’t pull out. That seemed like it would be annoying and it looks great.


Socks and Hats March 15, 2011

Filed under: art — Addicted to Yarn @ 2:12 pm
Tags: , , , , ,

I love knitting socks and hats. They are small. They are portable. They are wearable. They are fairly quick from start to finish. I am going to attempt to photograph some of my latest projects and include those in this blog but we shall see. Our camera broke so all I’ve got is the built in camera on my computer, which is less than ideal.

Socks. I got “Socks From the Toe Up” by Wendy Johnson from the library and I freaking love it. I think this will be in my next Amazon book order. I have renewed it 2 or 3 times and I am terrified that someone is going to request it before I’m done with it. I am currently knitting two socks from it. The Van Dyke Socks, in KnitPicks Stroll Sport, colorway Peapod. I love these socks. I’ve finished one and as soon as I cast off, I put it on my foot and wore it for the rest of the evening. I washed it and dried it and it’s still just as wonderful – maybe even more so. I’m about 3/4 done with sock #2 and I can’t wait to wear them as a matched pair. EEK!

About the pattern: My foot is 8.75″ around so I knit the 8.5 pattern and it feel a little floppy. Not sure if that’s just handknit socks or what but as I know that fitting the leg is what keeps them from sliding down, I put it 4 ribs around the leg portion of the sock. One between each set of needles. On the second sock, I did a cable between the instep patterns and one on each side of the instep. It looks a little funny on the needle but on my foot it looks SWEET!

I did a short row toe and short row heel. I’ve only tried one other heel (will discuss that next) and I did NOT like it. I really like the short row toe and heel. They are not complicated and I don’t have to seam or pick up stitches. They just fit me really well, both physically fit my foot and also psychologically fit my brain. I guess.

WHOO! Sock #1

Sock #2

The other pair of socks I am working on is also from Wendy Johnson’s book. This pattern is the Diagonal Lace sock pattern. The yarn is Lang Yarns Jawoll Magic, colorway 1005 (I think). It’s a dark green and black variegated yarn. Not sure I like it but I’m going to finish these and then probably will not purchase another skein of it again.

I did the “figure 8” cast on that Wendy details in the book but I do NOT like it. It makes a very rigid, squarish toe. My foot is very squat and not at all shaped like the sock is. That is really my only complaint. The sock is just a hair too small. I think a few stitches on either side of the instep would have solved it but whatever. Other than issues with the toe, which I will not repeat on the other sock (my sister already knows they won’t be a matched set but she doesn’t care and, really, who is going to be looking so closely at her toes that they will notice?). I am going to do a short row heel when I get to it. I am waiting on my sister to send me her foot measurements so I don’t make the sock too long or short before I start the heel. I might even cast on the second sock if she doesn’t get that to me pretty soon. Anyway, here is sock #1:

Diagonal Lace Sock #1

Next pair of socks will be for Jael, pink with purple toes and heel. Super cute. Can’t wait to start those but must finish the Van Dyke socks first.

I finished a hat for my soon-to-be-here niece. Unfortunately, it was not a newborn pattern. I thought it was but it was not. So I modified it a little but not enough so it might be a few months before she can wear it comfortably. It might even fit her big sister better. Oh well. Here it is, modeled by my skein of Jawoll Magic.

Super cute. I love it. I wish I had a dozen more baby girls to knit it for. Love it love it love it.

Oh, and I don’t know who all still follows this blog, as I so randomly update it, but I also joined Plurk. Yeah. Still in the very early stages of that (opened my account all of like 4 hours ago) but on there I am BitchinBecky. That’s all folks!


Friggin’ A

Filed under: Anecdotal,military — Addicted to Yarn @ 1:31 pm

First of all, let me just say that if anyone ever says to me, when I complain about military life, “Well, you knew what you were signing up for” or something along those lines, I will want to punch them in the face. When my husband and I joined the AF (well, he joined but I was in full support of his decision), we thought we knew what we were signing up for but there are a few things the recruiter forget to mention. Things like, if the government shuts down for two weeks, the military doesn’t get paid for two weeks. But still has to go to work. But doesn’t get paid. Has to go to work at the gas station, commissary, BX, etc, because the people who normally work there are going to get sent home because, well, they can’t get paid either. So husband and wife BOTH will not be getting paid but military member must still show up for 40+ hours a week.

Unless you are deployed.

Then you get to work 72+ hours a week. For no pay.

That, ladies and gentlemen, is NOT what we signed up for. One of the reasons we enlisted in the military was the stable, secure income. Yes, we knew that deployments were a part of it. Yes, we knew that being on call 24/7 was a part of it. Yes, we knew that following the orders given to you was part of it. Yes, we knew that kissing ass and not speaking the truth least it be seen as disrespect to an officer over you was part of it. But no, we did not know that working for no wage was a part of it. We did not realize that we would have to so fully face our slavery status.

Because that’s what someone who MUST work but does not have to be paid is. A slave. Welcome to the good ol’ USA.


Wishing March 7, 2011

Filed under: Anecdotal,Religious — Addicted to Yarn @ 10:47 pm
Tags: , ,

Sometimes, I wish there was a god. Not because I want miracles or a deeper meaning to life. Not because I want to imagine that my family and friends that have died are still existing on another plane. No, sometimes I wish there was a god because I wish that there was a supernatural, higher-power being to seek absolution, forgiveness, from. Not that I have so many “sins” to be forgiven for. I do not feel guilt for fooling around with my boyfriend in high school, though we both moved on to marry others and by the definitions I grew up with, we both committed adultery (or something that brushed very close to it). I do not feel guilt for being a crappy mom. I’m a totally adequate mom and I am comfortable with that. I do not feel guilt because I have a crush on a man who is not my husband. I do not feel guilt for leaving the church, though it hurt my family and friends.

No, none of those things are what keep me up at night. No, during that interim period between wakefulness and sleep, when my brain flits from one thing to another, from thoughts about what I ate for dinner to what Jael should wear to school tomorrow, from thinking about my current knitting project for my cousin’s baby to her mother and from there to her grandmother, the guilt that keeps me awake is not the guilt of commandments broken or faith not had. No, no, no. The guilt is for an action that was taken because I had too much faith.

I believed in God. I believed that the Bible was true. I believed that God would fulfill his promises in the Bible. So when the Bible said that we could heal the sick in Jesus’s name, I believed that. When the Bible said that we would do even greater things than Jesus, I believed it. I believed that God would heal my aunt from brain cancer if I sacrificed, humbled myself and prayed over her. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, as my family did not believe in the “gifts” of healing and whatnot. But I obeyed the commands I believed I had been given. I fasted and I prayed. I told my husband that I had to go. He joined with me in fasting and prayer. We prayed the entire drive to Marysville, Kansas. Cancer had already destroyed the woman I remembered but it did not deter us. She was unable to walk unaided, unable to speak, and who knows how much she understood. We knew that it would simply make God’s miracle that much more amazing. We knelt beside my aunt’s recliner, we read from the Word, we laid hands on her, we prayed for her, we annointed her head with oil, and finally, we commanded her to stand up.

I will never forget the look in her eyes as she tried to explain, with a body that no longer obeyed her commands, that she could not stand up. I will never forget the feeling of having a dying woman look guilty, as though she were a personal disappointment because she was unable to “faith” her way to a healing.

That is what keeps me up at night. That is what I wish I could ask forgiveness for. I wish that there were a source of ultimate good that could lay hands on my soul and apply a healing salve to the portion of me that committed that crime.

I am so sorry, Uncle Roy, for walking into your home and wasting one of your last days with your wife in such a disrespectful manner.

I am sorry, Grandma, that you had to bury a child after someone had read Bible verses to you that said God would heal her.

I am sorry, Dad, that I raised false hopes.

I am sorry, Debbie, that your mom died, despite what I read and said and prayed.

I am sorry, Kendra, Bobby, and Liz that your grandmother had to spend some of her last hours on earth with such an idiot.

I am sorry, Brycen, that you never got to meet your great-grandma.

I am sorry, Aunt Judy, that God isn’t real. I’m sorry that he wasn’t there to heal you. I don’t know if I caused you to doubt him or not but if I did, I am so incredibly sorry for casting doubt on your faith in your last days on earth. I am so sorry.

If I could take an eraser to one weekend  of my life, that would be it. If I could rewind, delete, and continue on, those two days would be what I deleted. If I could apply bleach to my memory and destroy one event, this would be the one I bleached out of existence. But I can’t. And I will, most likely, continue to think of this until the day I, too, cease to live and I will continue to wish, in the dark of the night, when sleep eludes me, that there was a god to seek forgiveness from for the sin of believing in him too damn much.


NOT depression February 24, 2011

Filed under: Anecdotal,art — Addicted to Yarn @ 11:53 am

I commented on someone’s blog and below my comment it said, “LadyRebecc’a last blog . . . Depression” and I think that sucks. It motivated me to post a new blog.

I am obsessed with knitting. I am resenting this blog right now because it means I’m not knitting. I’ve started watching/listening t0 knitting podcasts and it turns out that there are lots of other addicted knitters out there. Some are funnier than others but all are incredibly “normal.” And by normal I mean that they aren’t super stars. They are just folk. Nice folk, maybe folks who are more outgoing and gregarious than myself but ultimately they are not that much different than me. Which makes me feel good. I’m not alone in the world and all that.

So, I’m addicted to knitting. So much so that I took a mini-vacation to Trier for three days and two nights. You know what I did without my husband or daughter around? I bought yarn and knitted. Yup. I spent most of the time in Trier in my hotel room, which was blessedly warm, and knit. I finished a couple of Christmas gifts, started some others and all in all, had a great time.

Works in Progress include a pair of socks for myself (no, I’m not being selfish. I think that the first pair of socks should go to someone whose feet I can measure and try them onto at regular intervals):

a pair of mittens for Jael, a gathered scarf, and a gift for my mother.

Finished Objects of recent completion include the blue cabled scarf

cabled purse that I don’t have a picture of and a pair of mittens for myself (they are complete but, again, I don’t have a picture of them completed)

Pre completion

Projects I’ve got planned? More than I can possibly list here. But I can assure you that there will be more projects as I love knitting. I love it love it love it love it. My husband is wonderful in that he thinks my obsession is cute and not terrifying.

There you have it. I am knitting up a storm and my “most recent blog” is no longer “Depression.” Yay for that!


Depression January 10, 2011

Filed under: Anecdotal — Addicted to Yarn @ 3:50 pm

I am depressed. Possibly more depressed than I’ve ever been in my life. And you know what’s funny? I can feel that it is only skin deep. It’s only a layer of depression over my otherwise, happy self. When something funny happens, I smile and laugh. When something sweet happens, I feel warm and fuzzy. But in between those times, there is a heaviness that can not be ignored. I’ve been spending time in front of a sun lamp and it seems to be helping somewhat. I may have to buy one so that I can do it twice a day instead of just once. But I’m too depressed to make a $200 decision. I put Rammstein on my iPod and turned it way up and danced myself breathless and it pushed the heaviness away for a time. I’ve been knitting and crocheting a lot and the monotony of it keeps me from noticing the heaviness for a time.

My daughter’s birthday is this weekend and I’m too depressed to plan a party so we’ve agreed that having a few friends over to play is better than nothing. I’ve not gotten her a present yet. I’ve half a dozen things planned but many of them require an internet order and, because I’m depressed, I put them off for far too long. So now she’s going to get some crap we can find on the picked over shelves at our already limited selection BX. It sucks. And I don’t even feel very bad. I just feel sad that Jael will associate her birthday with me being depressed. Mayhaps we’ll have some sun and this weekend will be a happy time.

Or the cloud cover will stick around and I’ll spend the weekend battling tears.