Ladyrebecca's Musings and Ramblings

The Increasingly Political Thoughts of Rebecca (Becky) Walker

Rant about a really crappy church November 5, 2006

Filed under: Anecdotal — Addicted to Yarn @ 2:49 pm

So I decide that we should go to church today.  I have driven past a church called The Carpenter’s House.  That sounded cool.  Kind of laid back, non-denominational, all about Jesus.  So I got on their website.  It all sounded okay but there was only information on their service times and ministries.  There was absolutely nothing about doctrine.  Well, I though (hoped maybe?) that the website had been created by a well meaning but not entirely informed computer enthusiaist. 
So, we get there.  A couple of people greeted us but it felt really plasticy.  I didn’t really think anything of it because I always feel like church greeters are plasticy.   So we sit down and service starts.

First problem.  The pastor is playing the keyboard and leading worship.  His wife (co-pastor) is on the worship team.  I don’t like that.  Then the music was way too loud and too slow.  Loud music fast is fun and invigorating.  Loud music slow is a head ache in about 13 seconds.  The pastor had to tell people three or four times to stand up before the social pressure was high enough for anyone to get off their derrieres.   The singing wasn’t too bad but the musicians at the Rock were so talented that we have a fairly high standard in mind and this group wasn’t meeting it at all.  But I made up my mind to focus on Jesus (after all, He’s who we’re worshiping, not some worship team). 

Then, the pastor’s wife stand up and tells us how she doesn’t have to tell us to be happy because we’re already happy because we are in God’s house and she leaves her problems at the door because it’s just so happy.  Yikes
Then she says “The children need to be dismissed now.  They will come back in a few minutes.  Okay, kids, you need to file out and when you come back in, come in quietly and sit down.”  and the kids leave. 

The children “need” to be dimissed?  Why?  Why for only 5 minutes or so?  What the crap?  My daughter did not go to say the least.

Then “Kenny” stands up and tells us that next week is pastor appreciation and that they expect every family to give $100.   …    …     …   Yeah, I waited for the punch line and the laughter too but it wasn’t there because he was totally serious.   And the entire time he’s talking, he keeps saying “Amen”  In the middle of every sentence and at the end/beginning of every sentence. 

Then the pastor stands up and asks for money (ei. tithes and offerings).  He gives the prosperity gospel that if you just tithe, all of your problems will go away.  Tell that to the believers in Hebrews that were tortured and kille d and the “world was not worthy of.”  Did they just not tithe enough?

Then, after 3 or 4 introductions, this couple stands up to sing.  I guess they are a traveling type show because they are doing a full concert tonight (with special offering–big surprise).  They start singing and I am transported back to sixth or seventh grade winter retreat.  There was a guy who sang there and I swear they must have had the same teacher and swapped music because they sounded just the same.  It was as bad today as it was 13 some years ago.  They were terrible.  CCM at its worst.
Hubby leaned over and said “When I was on casuals the other day on of the guys said ‘Whenever I have to sweep sidewalks over and over I want to kill myself.’ ”  I look at Hubby and he continues, “Whenever I hear CCM I want to kill myself.  I am going to go drown myself in the toilet, okay?” 
I answered “If you go to the bathroom, I will meet you at the car in a couple of minutes.”
He walked out and Daughter, bless her heart, seeing Daddy leave says “I need to go potty.”  So we gather up our things, go potty, and escape from the service of empty, patheticness.

We came home, had lunch and decided that a really bad experience is better than a mediocre experience.  If it had just been a typically bad church we would have been disgusted but we wouldn’t have had anything to talk about.  The way it was, it was bad enough to rate a blog.

Have a great day. and I hope that everyone else’s church experiences today were more uplifting.


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