Ladyrebecca's Musings and Ramblings

The Increasingly Political Thoughts of Rebecca (Becky) Walker

It’s time for birth control access May 17, 2011

Filed under: Anecdotal,birth,educational,Political — Addicted to Yarn @ 6:50 pm


You know it as well as I do: birth control matters. It matters to the young woman finishing college or starting a career. It matters to the family struggling to make ends meet. It matters to the woman suffering from endometriosis. It matters to the mothers and fathers who treasure the children they have.

When it comes to reducing the number of unintended pregnancies in this country, birth control really matters.

That’s why Planned Parenthood has launched Birth Control Matters, one of the most important campaigns in our history. The goal is to make birth control affordable and accessible for every woman in America. Will you join us me in signing the Birth Control Matters petition today?

The truth is, choice is meaningless without access to affordable care. To protect choice, we must give every woman the support she needs to control her own reproductive health and her life. That’s why birth control matters.

Sign your name to this petition, and pass it on. Together we can ensure that every woman who wants prescription birth control can get it.

To take action on this issue, click on the link below:


PROJECT BAGS AWAY! March 25, 2011

Filed under: Anecdotal,art — Addicted to Yarn @ 12:19 pm

I just made the coolest thing EVER! I am so incredibly happy with it. I’ve been looking at project bags on Etsy and they run anywhere from $10 to $40 and that, plus shipping, is a little steep for me, especially when I am a fully capable seamstress. So I found a tutorial (actually, it was recommended to me but I don’t remember by whom) and whipped one up. This is fabric I’ve had laying around for a while. The outer fabric was gifted to me by my wonderful sister (love you, Angie), the lining is some left over muslin from something else and the strap is a remnant from Jael’s renn fair dress.

I'm on the phone - forgive me.

See Ma? No raw edges!

It's squarey goodness!

And finally, filled with a project.

I am so insanely excited. I might even whip up enough to sell on Etsy but I’m not holding my breath for that.

Oh, and I made one modification to the tutorial. When sewing the box corners, I basted the lining to the outer in the seam allowance so that the lining can’t pull out. That seemed like it would be annoying and it looks great.


Friggin’ A March 15, 2011

Filed under: Anecdotal,military — Addicted to Yarn @ 1:31 pm

First of all, let me just say that if anyone ever says to me, when I complain about military life, “Well, you knew what you were signing up for” or something along those lines, I will want to punch them in the face. When my husband and I joined the AF (well, he joined but I was in full support of his decision), we thought we knew what we were signing up for but there are a few things the recruiter forget to mention. Things like, if the government shuts down for two weeks, the military doesn’t get paid for two weeks. But still has to go to work. But doesn’t get paid. Has to go to work at the gas station, commissary, BX, etc, because the people who normally work there are going to get sent home because, well, they can’t get paid either. So husband and wife BOTH will not be getting paid but military member must still show up for 40+ hours a week.

Unless you are deployed.

Then you get to work 72+ hours a week. For no pay.

That, ladies and gentlemen, is NOT what we signed up for. One of the reasons we enlisted in the military was the stable, secure income. Yes, we knew that deployments were a part of it. Yes, we knew that being on call 24/7 was a part of it. Yes, we knew that following the orders given to you was part of it. Yes, we knew that kissing ass and not speaking the truth least it be seen as disrespect to an officer over you was part of it. But no, we did not know that working for no wage was a part of it. We did not realize that we would have to so fully face our slavery status.

Because that’s what someone who MUST work but does not have to be paid is. A slave. Welcome to the good ol’ USA.


Wishing March 7, 2011

Filed under: Anecdotal,Religious — Addicted to Yarn @ 10:47 pm
Tags: , ,

Sometimes, I wish there was a god. Not because I want miracles or a deeper meaning to life. Not because I want to imagine that my family and friends that have died are still existing on another plane. No, sometimes I wish there was a god because I wish that there was a supernatural, higher-power being to seek absolution, forgiveness, from. Not that I have so many “sins” to be forgiven for. I do not feel guilt for fooling around with my boyfriend in high school, though we both moved on to marry others and by the definitions I grew up with, we both committed adultery (or something that brushed very close to it). I do not feel guilt for being a crappy mom. I’m a totally adequate mom and I am comfortable with that. I do not feel guilt because I have a crush on a man who is not my husband. I do not feel guilt for leaving the church, though it hurt my family and friends.

No, none of those things are what keep me up at night. No, during that interim period between wakefulness and sleep, when my brain flits from one thing to another, from thoughts about what I ate for dinner to what Jael should wear to school tomorrow, from thinking about my current knitting project for my cousin’s baby to her mother and from there to her grandmother, the guilt that keeps me awake is not the guilt of commandments broken or faith not had. No, no, no. The guilt is for an action that was taken because I had too much faith.

I believed in God. I believed that the Bible was true. I believed that God would fulfill his promises in the Bible. So when the Bible said that we could heal the sick in Jesus’s name, I believed that. When the Bible said that we would do even greater things than Jesus, I believed it. I believed that God would heal my aunt from brain cancer if I sacrificed, humbled myself and prayed over her. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, as my family did not believe in the “gifts” of healing and whatnot. But I obeyed the commands I believed I had been given. I fasted and I prayed. I told my husband that I had to go. He joined with me in fasting and prayer. We prayed the entire drive to Marysville, Kansas. Cancer had already destroyed the woman I remembered but it did not deter us. She was unable to walk unaided, unable to speak, and who knows how much she understood. We knew that it would simply make God’s miracle that much more amazing. We knelt beside my aunt’s recliner, we read from the Word, we laid hands on her, we prayed for her, we annointed her head with oil, and finally, we commanded her to stand up.

I will never forget the look in her eyes as she tried to explain, with a body that no longer obeyed her commands, that she could not stand up. I will never forget the feeling of having a dying woman look guilty, as though she were a personal disappointment because she was unable to “faith” her way to a healing.

That is what keeps me up at night. That is what I wish I could ask forgiveness for. I wish that there were a source of ultimate good that could lay hands on my soul and apply a healing salve to the portion of me that committed that crime.

I am so sorry, Uncle Roy, for walking into your home and wasting one of your last days with your wife in such a disrespectful manner.

I am sorry, Grandma, that you had to bury a child after someone had read Bible verses to you that said God would heal her.

I am sorry, Dad, that I raised false hopes.

I am sorry, Debbie, that your mom died, despite what I read and said and prayed.

I am sorry, Kendra, Bobby, and Liz that your grandmother had to spend some of her last hours on earth with such an idiot.

I am sorry, Brycen, that you never got to meet your great-grandma.

I am sorry, Aunt Judy, that God isn’t real. I’m sorry that he wasn’t there to heal you. I don’t know if I caused you to doubt him or not but if I did, I am so incredibly sorry for casting doubt on your faith in your last days on earth. I am so sorry.

If I could take an eraser to one weekend  of my life, that would be it. If I could rewind, delete, and continue on, those two days would be what I deleted. If I could apply bleach to my memory and destroy one event, this would be the one I bleached out of existence. But I can’t. And I will, most likely, continue to think of this until the day I, too, cease to live and I will continue to wish, in the dark of the night, when sleep eludes me, that there was a god to seek forgiveness from for the sin of believing in him too damn much.


NOT depression February 24, 2011

Filed under: Anecdotal,art — Addicted to Yarn @ 11:53 am

I commented on someone’s blog and below my comment it said, “LadyRebecc’a last blog . . . Depression” and I think that sucks. It motivated me to post a new blog.

I am obsessed with knitting. I am resenting this blog right now because it means I’m not knitting. I’ve started watching/listening t0 knitting podcasts and it turns out that there are lots of other addicted knitters out there. Some are funnier than others but all are incredibly “normal.” And by normal I mean that they aren’t super stars. They are just folk. Nice folk, maybe folks who are more outgoing and gregarious than myself but ultimately they are not that much different than me. Which makes me feel good. I’m not alone in the world and all that.

So, I’m addicted to knitting. So much so that I took a mini-vacation to Trier for three days and two nights. You know what I did without my husband or daughter around? I bought yarn and knitted. Yup. I spent most of the time in Trier in my hotel room, which was blessedly warm, and knit. I finished a couple of Christmas gifts, started some others and all in all, had a great time.

Works in Progress include a pair of socks for myself (no, I’m not being selfish. I think that the first pair of socks should go to someone whose feet I can measure and try them onto at regular intervals):

a pair of mittens for Jael, a gathered scarf, and a gift for my mother.

Finished Objects of recent completion include the blue cabled scarf

cabled purse that I don’t have a picture of and a pair of mittens for myself (they are complete but, again, I don’t have a picture of them completed)

Pre completion

Projects I’ve got planned? More than I can possibly list here. But I can assure you that there will be more projects as I love knitting. I love it love it love it love it. My husband is wonderful in that he thinks my obsession is cute and not terrifying.

There you have it. I am knitting up a storm and my “most recent blog” is no longer “Depression.” Yay for that!


Depression January 10, 2011

Filed under: Anecdotal — Addicted to Yarn @ 3:50 pm

I am depressed. Possibly more depressed than I’ve ever been in my life. And you know what’s funny? I can feel that it is only skin deep. It’s only a layer of depression over my otherwise, happy self. When something funny happens, I smile and laugh. When something sweet happens, I feel warm and fuzzy. But in between those times, there is a heaviness that can not be ignored. I’ve been spending time in front of a sun lamp and it seems to be helping somewhat. I may have to buy one so that I can do it twice a day instead of just once. But I’m too depressed to make a $200 decision. I put Rammstein on my iPod and turned it way up and danced myself breathless and it pushed the heaviness away for a time. I’ve been knitting and crocheting a lot and the monotony of it keeps me from noticing the heaviness for a time.

My daughter’s birthday is this weekend and I’m too depressed to plan a party so we’ve agreed that having a few friends over to play is better than nothing. I’ve not gotten her a present yet. I’ve half a dozen things planned but many of them require an internet order and, because I’m depressed, I put them off for far too long. So now she’s going to get some crap we can find on the picked over shelves at our already limited selection BX. It sucks. And I don’t even feel very bad. I just feel sad that Jael will associate her birthday with me being depressed. Mayhaps we’ll have some sun and this weekend will be a happy time.

Or the cloud cover will stick around and I’ll spend the weekend battling tears.


Science with Becky September 18, 2010

Filed under: Anecdotal,educational,Home Schooling,parenting — Addicted to Yarn @ 10:53 pm
Tags: ,

I am taking two classes this term: Introduction to Humanities and Intro to Natural Science. Intro to Humanities sucks and I don’t want to talk about it. Intro to Physical Science is AWESOME and I love it. One of the assignments for that class is the keeping of a “science” blog. Here’s the link for ‘Science with Becky‘.

That’s that but there is something else I want to get off my chest. It has to do with science but its of a more personal nature so I thought I’d share it here instead of the graded blog.

My science education was horrible. It wasn’t so much that I had a poor scientific education. No, no, no. I had a BAD scientific education. As in, I was taught LIES and purposefully misinformed. I actually feel kind of embarrassed writing this because it reveals the incredible level of ignorance and stupidity that I walked in for over a decade and it’s humiliating. However, the best way to discourage mind rot is to expose it to the light of day so here we go with the list of scientific things I didn’t know until I was almost 30:

1.    The difference between a scientific theory and an “I have a random thought” theory. A random “I have a theory” theory is one like, “Hey, Becky. I have a theory on why your car won’t start. I think the gnomes did it,” or “I have a theory as to why the Air Force sucks…too much starch in the uniforms.” A scientific theory, on the other hand, is “[a] synthesis of a large body of information that encompasses well-tested and verified hypotheses about certain aspects of the natural world” (Hewitt, Suchocki, & Hewitt, p. 10) (emphasis mine). It’s not just some made up bullshit.

This was most commonly misapplied to the “theory” of evolution. Much was made of it being “just a theory.” Of course, it was never suggested that the “theory” of gravity was “just a theory.”

2.    What a hypothesis was. A hypothesis is easy. It is a statement that is testable. That’s it. The definition, again from Hewitt, etc, is “[a]n educated guess; a reasonable explanation of an observation or experimental result that is not fully accepted as factual until tested over and over again by experiment” (p. 10). Included in that definition is the fact that it must be testable. That means it must be possible to prove it WRONG! If it cannot be proven wrong, it’s not a hypothesis.

Example of a non-hypothesis: The universe is permeated with non-detectable particles that control everything.

How do you create a test for non-detectable things? You can’t. Therefore, such a statement can NEVER be proven wrong because you can’t create a test for it.

3.     What “peer-reviewed” meant. This is something I learned before this class but it’s not something I learned in “school.” I had no understanding of what it meant when scientist made discoveries. I had the impression that you went to school to become a “scientist” and then went to work and your title was “scientist” and you fiddled around with sciencey stuff then made wild claims and people were supposed to believe you because your name tag said, “Joe Brown – Scientist.”

I want to write more but I’m tired and need to sleep. Science is cool. I leave you with these two videos. I hope you enjoy.